#i don't want overtime any more than the company wants to give it to me 😭😭😭😭

[sharama]

😭 I hope today goes so much better than the rest of the week.

I'm so freaking tired. Need to take a 50 year long nap.

[satinroses]

How Yan! Adepti react to feeling jealous (separate)

A/N: I FINALLY finished all the 10+ story quests I had lined up that I was procrastinating doing. It was gruelling. I've never pressed space bar so much in my life. By the end I couldn't feel my ass as I'd been sitting on it for too long BUT on the positive, doing Xianyun's story quest made me nostalgic for Liyue and got me motivated to write a little bit! I may do a harbinger one if I feel a bit silly, I'm not sure yet but please let me know if that's something you might be interested in! <3

(also i’d usually give this a little final read through but i am so exhausted so i just wanna get it posted so please forgive any silly mistakes or inconsistencies)

Word Count: 7.0k words

Includes Zhongli, Xiao, Xianyun, Ganyu

Warnings: Yandere Behaviours, if you are uncomfortable with dark themes please don't read! obsessive/possessive behaviours, younger Zhongli has serious issues - honestly all of them do, threats, violence, murder, manipulation, stalking, implied somno (depends how you read it) in Xiao's excerpt, some truly earth shattering delusions

Ganyu:

Renowned throughout Liyue Harbour for her mild manner and keen work ethic, the overworked secretary of Liyue Qixing was always a welcome sight around the harbour. It had taken Ganyu months to push past her bashfulness alongside countless encouragements from her colleagues and friends to confess her feelings to you.

It had only been once Captain Beidou had drunkenly declared that she would tell you herself if Ganyu didn’t muster up the courage that the Qilin had decided to tell you. Her cheeks flushed pink as she stuttered out her confession to you in the evening lantern light of Liyue Harbour.

Much to her delight you did not coldly reject the woman, instead you pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her lips before muttering that you felt the exact same way.

In her thousands of years of life Ganyu cannot recall a time she's known more peace than the time she has since shared with you. Your mere presence coaxes the insomniac into a gentle slumber. Every day she gets to spend by your side is a day in which the woman is glowing with giddiness, so much so that even the conqueror of demons had noted the positive change to Ganyu’s disposition.

Ganyu had always adored her position as secretary even if it had caused her immeasurable stress, she had always strove to serve Liyue in whatever way she could and never resented her position in spite of the responsibility it entailed however now that Ganyu had something to treasure, someone she wished to hold close she couldn’t help the annoyance that crept over her when she was asked to work overtime for the 5th time this week.

The Adeptus wanted nothing more desperately than to return to your shared home (she had insisted you move in with her as soon as possible and you simply couldn’t say no to her large violet eyes as they glimmered with unshed tears at the thought of you rejecting her offer) and monopolise you for the evening, ushering you into bed and holding you as tightly as the poor qilin could, whispering sweet nothings into your skin.

Ganyu prided herself on her maturity but even she couldn’t prevent glowering when she was denied yet another precious night in your company after Baiwen begged Ganyu to stay and help fill in some paperwork. 

She had dedicated herself to ensuring the smooth running of Liyue harbour yet even she could not fend off the envy that shadowed her as the thought of you running around the harbour without her. Every single person that was allowed to gaze upon your face while Ganyu was away from your side were rapidly earning spots on the Qilin’s list of enemies (a list she had only created 20 seconds prior)

Due to Ganyu’s soft and sensitive demeanour it’s easy to forget the sway she holds over Liyue. Several of the Qixing owing her favours after her years of servitude, she is in possession of countless embarrassing secrets she has gained access to due to her position. She holds the ears of the wealthiest people in teyvat as well as having fought ferociously in the archon war in bygone millenia.

Ganyu helped construct the very nation of Liyue into what it has become, moulding it with her very hands into the prosperous land it is. The people of Liyue have seemingly forgotten that Ganyu’s servitude is entirely her own choice. She does not serve the Qixing because she sees them as above her, she serves the Qixing because she wishes to, because she understands Liyue would collapse without her guiding hand.

Perhaps people will remember that when a man who makes a flirty remark to you will have a letter left on his doorstep detailing a solemn secret he long thought buried.

Perhaps people will remember that when the girl who blushed when your hands brushed as you both reached for the same bag of wheat is arrested for fraud despite her desperate claims to the contrary.

Perhaps people will remember that when the vendor who overcharged you goes bankrupt the following morning.

Perhaps people will remember that when the treasure hoarder who accosted you for your mora is found weeks later deep in a cave in Minlin, impaled with countless frosty arrows.

Rest assured, if people forget just how fierce Ganyu can be then she is more than happy to remind them.

Xianyun:

Xianyun often considers herself above such petty emotions as jealousy and possessiveness. 

She loudly declares herself one of the most measured of the Adepti, harbouring centuries of combat prowess and mechanical genius, raising two independent and fierce young woman on Mount Aocang, remaining a fierce and honourable servant to Morax and enduring the insults that flying rat that accompanied the traveler spewed at her, intentionally and not. Xianyun regarded herself as a dignified and patient woman.

After centuries of not being proven to the contrary, to the mighty Cloud Retainer there is no issue that cannot be overcome with the technical brilliance she has acquired or the thrumming power of the illuminated blood in her veins or so she had believed until recently.

Despite the mystery and majesty the Adepti commonly shrouded themselves in as they dwelled in their mountainous retreat, Xianyun had always been vigilant in ensuring that she honoured her vow to Rex Lapis and safeguard any of his subjects she comes across.

After doing her divinely ordained duty centuries ago and saving a young man from a rock fall she had since become accustomed to receiving offerings from the man's family and his descendants in the centuries since then. 

As an adepti offerings of thanks and acknowledgments of her mercy were not uncommon, especially to one so revered as cloud retainer. Even so she continued to be surprised that his descendants remained vigilant in offering their sincere gratitude towards her centuries after she saved the man.

If you asked Xianyun herself she would claim she holds none of the descendants in higher regard than the other however if you were in her presence when a certain individual climbs up the path to Mount Aocang you would be able to see in the way her breath hitches and she stops her sentence, her entire being frozen as she watches them set down the home cooked meal and offer a gentle prayer of thanks.

Even in her crane form her eyes never once stray from the visitor. She trails her vision over them, intaking every aspect of their appearance. how their hair falls over their face, how their breath comes out in warm puffs after the exertion of the climb, how they let a satisfied grin fall upon their face as they set the meal down.

Despite her tenacity and confidence Xianyun has still not formally introduced herself to her visitor, instead opting to watch from afar. She goes out of her way to personally ensure that your journey to Liyue harbour is safe and uneventful as she trails after you in her avian form, her eyes on the path ahead of you. She is more than ready to dart down and defeat any hillichurls or geovishaps or clear the rock slide blocking your path before you’re even aware the obstacle is there.

If anyone were to inquire about her vigilance in ensuring your safety she would puff her chest out and remind them of her contract with Rex Lapis and the duty she had to guard Liyue Harbour and all its inhabitants. 

Shenhe and Ganyu have long given up on inquiring about you after a flustered cloud retainer gave them the same monologue about her sworn duty to Morax for the 27th time.

Does she do this with every visitor to her domain? For thousands of years one has been a most faithful servant to Morax, to question one fulfilling their duty is to question ones-

As far as Xianyun is concerned she is simply doing her duty as an adeptus, there is no ulterior motive and she will ensure that she emphasises this to every person who inquires about her interest in you.

She even goes so far as to have Shenhe and Ganyu give her regular updates on your life when you haven’t been out Mount Aocang in a long time (read: over 24 hours)

Upon formally moving to Liyue Harbour, Cloud Retainer assumes the name of Xianyun and decides to use her mortal form to officially introduce herself to you. She will not allow you to know of her true identity as the subject of your reverence until she believes you are both adequately acquainted. One wishes simply to know you she thinks to herself

Again this is merely her curiosity at work she convinces herself. she merely wishes to know you are safe or so she attempts to convince herself, ignoring the tender fluttering in her chest at the thought of seeing you up close. 

No this is simply her duty as an adeptus. She takes her contract seriously, nothing more. 

She doesn’t seem this invested in any of the other citizens? One does not have to justify Oneself to the likes of you.

From the updates she had instructed Shenhe and Ganyu to deliver when she still resided on Mount Aocang she knew you frequented the Yanshang Teahouse. Unsure of when you would decide to visit it again she simply decided the best course of action would be to go to the teahouse every night from midday to closing until her eyes could meet yours.

On the 4th night of waiting to see you again she was growing antsy and entertaining thoughts of banging down every door in Liyue until she found you once again, her eyes darting around the room frantically. Her vision danced from face to face in a frantic tango until it settled on a familiar one.

Her entire being relaxed as she saw you seated at a table, soft hands clasped around a cup of tea taking tentative sips. The warm glow in your eyes made her feel as though she was feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin for the first time yet seeing that tenderness and affection directed at the person seated opposite you made her illuminated blood simmer as violent imaginings filled the adepti’s mind, a thousand different inventions to bring nothing but distress to your counterpart.

Equally Xianyun’s mind raced with a dozen different ways to fix this situation. No one but her deserved to see the soft glow in your eyes. No one but her was worthy of your reverence. To see you sharing the admiration she thought was only reserved solely for her... One would not stand for it.

You do not survive fighting in the front lines of the Archon war and a thousand tribulations afterwards by allowing slights against you to go unanswered. Xianyun was no stranger to seeking out her own justice. 

Such a shame for the person next to you that they are visiting from Fontaine and as such she has no obligation to hold back. Even if they were from Liyue she is not entirely sure even Morax could prevent her from exacting her bloody vengeance.

Although she had originally decided to stay in Liyue harbour permanently she now found herself longing for the recluse of Mount Aocang, her only little world where the only people that mattered were the two of you. That was all she needed. You would soon learn that was all you needed to.

She would pack tonight and leave for Mount Aocang at first light. 

The next time you would set foot on the mountain you would not be leaving again.

Xiao:

The conqueror of demons

The vigilant Yaksha

The bane of all evil

Throughout his many millennia of life Xiao has been called by countless titles but from you he longed only to hear his name on your lips.

After saving you from a few hillichurls he had anticipated the usual stuttering of gratitude that was so common from mortals, however what he didn’t expect was how his heart tugged at the sight of relieved tears in your eyes. Large wet eyes looking up at him with unabashed admiration.

The adeptus was puzzled by the clear reaction his body had to the tender gaze you bestowed upon him. With flushed cheeks and dilated pupils the vigilant yaksha quickly fled from the scene, not even muttering a word. He spent the night attempting to disregard how the gentle trembling of your lips replayed in his minds eye or how he simply couldn’t rid himself of the thought of how soft and supple your skin had seemed in the cool moonlight of Liyue.

The following day and night the yaksha busied himself with slaying the beasts and scum that loitered within the vicinity of the Wangshu inn. When you disregard the fervent replaying of your interaction yesterday that thrummed through his brain, the day had passed exactly as he had anticipated. 

Torment.

Suffering.

Misery.

These were parts of his day that was not foreign to him. They certainly were not comfortable but there was an air of familiarity around these emotions. Perhaps his day would have ended in a similar way had it not been for the sound of hesitant feet making their way onto the top balcony of the inn. 

He peered down from his position on the inn's roof inquisitively. Verr often made a point of ensuring any visitors to the inn avoided the top floor in order to grant the Adeptus much needed solitude. 

Instead it was… you. Again.

In your hands sat a plate of almond tofu, your fingers gripping the porcelain plate almost hard enough to smash it as you called out hesitantly

“Adeptus Xiao?” 

His hairs prickled as he heard you call out his name. Hearing his name on your tongue, echoing your pronunciation of every syllable, rewinding and replaying the noises you made. The hitch of your breath before speaking, the breathiness of your words, the fondness in your tone despite your nervousness.

He wanted desperately to drop down and greet you, to ask you to say his name again. He would beg if he had to yet he couldn’t move

“If you’re here… Miss Verr told me you enjoyed almond tofu so I’ll just leave it here for you. I-” 

You cleared your throat, your voice gaining some timbre as you gained some confidence speaking to what you hoped was the Adeptus that had saved you

“I wanted to thank you for saving me yesterday, without you i wouldn’t be here now”

You placed the plate onto the balcony before giving one last hopeful glance around. No sign of the adeptus. Regardless you whispered a soft hopeful prayer that the adeptus would find the token of gratitude you were leaving him.

As he heard your footsteps retreat down the staircase of the inn he finally allowed himself to breathe again. Leaping down onto the balcony of the inn with feline grace, he picked up the dish you left for him. His mouth pooled with saliva, his appetite was not for the almond tofu before him. As he traced the sides of the plate where your hands had once been, his heart fluttered like a teenage boy with a crush.

Xiao had spent the day thinking of you far more than he would dare verbalise but this new interaction with you had fanned the spark of interest into a blazing obsession. To think that he had been on your mind too, it was overwhelming for the adeptus, he almost didn’t want to believe that one such as himself could be blessed with something so tender to cherish as you.

He took care to watch over you vigilantly, rarely straying from your side. Ensuring your safety and acting as your shadow became his priority, however he still maintained a distance between you both, fearful that perhaps he may frighten you away with the intensity of his desire to guard you his karmic debt might overwhelm him in your presence.

The yaksha’s usual post at Wangshu inn was quickly abandoned in favour of his new perch on your roof. Of course he would never wish to invade your privacy but when you leave your bedroom window open like that… surely you must have some idea that the yaksha has taken an interest in you. Perhaps you know Xiao is there, you’ve seen him in the corner of your eye and this is your way of inviting him inside and you're simply too timid to declare it.

Even if you haven’t seen him and this isn't an invitation, clearly your senses are rather dull and you cannot be trusted to watch over yourself. He has been trailing you for weeks now so if you truly haven't noticed him then that’s all the more proof that he should slip inside your bedroom window… to keep a better eye on you while you remain defenceless as you rest.

Those are the two primary justifications he cycles through as he tentatively slides through your window, his feet silent on your floorboards after thousands of years mastering the art of agility. He wanders around your bedroom, flitting through the little trinkets you had scattered about; pretty seashells, crystals, a vase of silk flowers, your outfit for the following day. 

He huffed out a breath at your mortal amusements, countless little testaments to your interests, a dozen tributes to your fascinations. Despite the superfluous nature of these curios you had scattered about, because they were small remnants of you he simply couldn;t bring himself to feel disdain for them, not when they brought him just a little closer into your world.

After he had thoroughly explored every countertop in your bedroom, his eyes darted to what he had been attempting (and failing) to ignore this entire time. Watching your peaceful slumber brought him more relief than he cared to admit. He perched tentatively on the side of your bed.  Despite his attempts to restrain himself, he simply couldn’t prevent the wandering of his hand across the soft blanket that covered you.

Once he had traced his hand against your form, separated only by the blanket, he let his hand grasp onto a corner of it. Slowly peeling the blanket off of your form like a present that the archons had carefully wrapped just for him, golden eyes darkening as he drank in your body, covered only by sleep wear. 

His deep, trembling intakes of breath stopped only when he saw your brow scrunch as you tossed in discomfort, reaching for the blanket he had since removed. Any moment you would wake up, he was sure of it. With no time to cover you back up with your blanket and even less to put your ornaments and baubles back in their spots he slipped back out of your window silently, returning back into the shadows to observe you faithfully.

The following nights he didn’t dare creep back into your bedroom. You now kept the window shut and curtains drawn. He would be dishonest if he said he wasn’t slightly frustrated by this development but moreover he was glad you didn’t simply ignore such an occasion. After all you didn’t realise it was him in your room, for all you know it could have been some debauched pervert. He would be thankful that you’re so vigilant about your safety if that was the extent of your preventative measures, however it was not.

You now had a friend staying with you. Admittedly you could just be having them stay with you as a deterrent or precaution to any unsavoury folks and yes he likely did give you quite the fright but you have no need for anyone's protection but his. You need only speak his name and the conqueror of demon’s is at your beck and call. He would be your undeterred shield, your unyielding blade to set upon any who would harm you if only you would let him.

Being around you makes Xiao feel tender and breakable for the first time since he signed his contract with Rex Lapis. He should hate how you make him feel but he can’t… he’s not sure he could hate anything pertaining to you. Well perhaps one thing: that friend who seems insistent on escorting you everywhere. Perhaps Xiao wouldn’t mind it so much (he definitely would still mind) if your friend wasn’t so liberal with his gaze, just by analysing the man for a few moments Xiao could tell he had less than noble thoughts about you.

After about a week of being on such high alert your friend convinces you to get out of the harbour, that perhaps some time away would do you some good. Perhaps you could go to Mondstadt for a week or so together. Usually you would be inclined to disagree with his spontaneous ideas but for almost a month Liyue has been smothering you. Initially you attempted to ignore the oppressive gaze you felt upon you, convincing yourself it was a mere delusion, a cruel trick your mind was playing but after last week you were certain there was a real cause for concern behind the gaze that followed you wherever you roamed.

Upon overhearing this conversation Xiao’s blood ran cold. Going to Mondstadt means leaving the area in which he can best protect you. Going to Mondstadt means you’re in far more danger than he could allow, sure he could ask that troublesome bard to keep an eye on you but that simply means opening himself up to questions he’s not even sure he knows the answers to just yet. 

The accursed day finally arrives despite Xiao’s feverish wishes to the contrary. You begin the trek to Mondstadt when the sun is high in the sky, he keeps his eye on you, eagerly awaiting any moment you might need help, any opening for him to sweep in and keep you in Liyue for even a second longer. Perhaps this time he might mutter a word to you, tell you ‘you’re welcome’ when you inevitably drown him in gratitude or extend an offer of an escort all the way to Mondstadt (of course he’ll be escorting you regardless of whether you’re aware of it or not). 

Instead you make it all the way to Wangshu inn without issue, much to the yaksha’s irritation. As the sun began to shrink into the horizon and the stars began to glimmer softly in the gloam coated sky, you beg your friend to stop in the inn for the night, hesitant to continue on with the daylight quickly dwindling however they refuse, insisting that you were practically at Stone Gate already and to keep on going for a little while longer, spewing empty promises of protecting you if anything might attack you. You shifted nervously, your eyes looking askew but you conceded, following dutifully after your companion through Dihua marsh.

As expected you didn’t get far in the dark without bumping into several hillichurls however much to your misfortune it wasn’t just a handful of meagre hillichurls. The mitachurl towered over you, his thick club raised in the air before slamming down next to your head as you rolled to the side. You darted out from under the beast, your eyes searching through the chaos for your friend only to be met with a distressing view. Your supposed friend fleeing the battle, their eyes searching for yours, tinged with pain as they mouthed a quick “I’m sorry” before continuing their desperate flee, leaving you to fend against the hillichurls alone.

Betrayal and dejection flooded you as you watched the person who had promised to protect you both from whatever had been watching you and whatever beasts you may bump into in the darkness. The stinging in your tear ducts and burning in your chest became dampened as you felt a swift tap to the back of your neck as your world faded into darkness. You felt no pain, no more betrayal as you collapsed. 

- 

Xiao had originally intended to take advantage of this situation. To appear by your side when the battle seemed lost, saving you if only to see your eyes light up in recognition of the yaksha before you but when he realised that wretch was fleeing from the battle, surely leaving you for dead he couldn’t stand still for another moment, his fingers curling around the air, instinctually craving the weight of his weapon to rest in his palms. 

Using the end of this spear he hit you with just enough force to send you into the soft slumber of unconsciousness, catching you gently before laying you down on the grass, cradling your head like one would a newborn babe. With you carefully positioned out of his path he donned the mask of exorcism that usually sat at his waist, the karmic debt swirling around him in much higher intensity.

Slaughtering a small camp of hillichurls was a small feat for the conqueror of demons however he would not stop there. Xiao refused to rest until he felt that justice had been served for you, his most beloved.

Xiao scooped up your sleeping body before taking you back to Wangshu inn. When he first took up the mantle of protector of the inn Verr had offered him a room as thanks for his service and until now he had little need for it. He entered the dusty room and lay you down on the bed, brushing hair out of your face. The room was filled with only barebones furniture but perhaps tomorrow he would go to your home and bring you some of your pretty ornaments to make it seem more homely for you.

He allowed himself one small indulgence before he would head back out again to seek retribution for you. He removed the glove on one of his hands and took his bare, trembling fingers he traced across your lips. Memorising every inch and crevice of your soft lips beneath his fingers brought him a sense of unfathomable peace he had not felt since… he couldn’t remember anytime he had felt a sense of calm remotely similar to this.

Despite it paining him to do so the yaksha managed to force himself out of the stupor you had coaxed him into with your gentle breathing and sweet scent. Placing his glove back on and summoning his Jade winged spear the adeptus took off into the night once more.

When he returned to the remnants of the hillichurl camp, it didnt take long for him to find a trail. Following the dragging footsteps in the dust led him directly to your ‘friend’, now curled up at the foot of Wuwang hill, snot coating their face as their sobbed into their hands, wracked with grief and distress at their actions.

Even now the adeptus couldn’t muster even an illusion of sympathy or understanding, seeing them in this state only made his loathing for them grow.

They had truly deluded themself into believing they were a worthy protector for you? They couldn’t even defend themself.

With the hatred clawing up his throat like bile, Xiao couldn’t contain the Karmic debt slithering over him. His grip on his polearm tightened as he raised it above his head.

The fact that they truly believed themself to be a competitor for your affections would have almost been humorous had it not been for their display of cowardice not even an hour prior.

He plunged his weapon into their soft flesh methodically, his grip not faltering for even a moment. If it weren’t for his concern about you rousing afraid and alone, he would have taken his time and drawn their suffering out. He would have shown them that a few measly hillichurls were the least of his issues, instead he gritted his teeth, deciding to place your happiness and safety over his own desperate lust for vengeance.

Xiao quickly turned to abandon the scene. Even staring upon the filth’s body, thinking of the warmth and affection you had shared and how quickly they had forsaken you… No, he couldn’t end it like this. He turned back around to the almost corpse- the last few vestiges of life were flickering. Xiao resolved to make the last few breaths of air your friend would take as painful as possible. Digging his foot into their chest before he raised his polearm once more. Cutting and slicing, skewing and carving until all that remained after the frenzy was a mound of meat, muscle and bone.

-

Xiao crept into the room hoping you still remained asleep. A rare smile blossomed across the pale face of the Yaksha as he saw you curled up on the bed.

Dropping his spear by your bed Xiao stared at you longingly 

He had waited so long for the moment in which he could express his feelings to you properly. He wanted to show you he loved you without fear. Now that you were lying in his bed, eyelids closed and breathing deep, Xiao made the decision that he could indulge himself fully before you woke up. 

Just this once as a reward for saving you.

He’s sure you won't mind after all the time and energy he has devoted to ensuring your safety he’s almost positive you would be fine with him taking his fill. 

Surely after two millennia of selflessness he has earned the right to be a little selfish.

With one swift step Xiao turned around to lock the bedroom door behind him.

Zhongli:

The reaction of Zhongli varies significantly depending on which phase of his life he is in. The man who goes by the name Zhongli has mellowed out considerably since his days as Deus Auri, If someone had stolen your attention away from him they may be greeted with several snide remarks and biting threats, if somebody stole your affection away from him then Zhongli would have a much less pleasant reaction however if either such thing occurred during his younger years as the Lord of the Adepti and God of contracts it is unlikely any potential suitors will escape unscathed.

In his youth Zhongli was far more of a slave to his draconic instincts than he was willing to admit. Upon the realisation of his intense feelings for you, the warrior god is far more frightened than he lets on. You are so fragile in comparison to him, so breakable. Not only that but humans are so flighty. Where Adepti may be content to sit on the same mountain top for centuries in solemn meditation, the same cannot be said for mortals. He has watched them flit about, to and fro for centuries and he would be lying if he didn’t find the mortal proclivity for change rather unnerving. 

He has watched humans profess undying love for one another before turning around and betraying their vows to each other. It’s not that he thinks you’re anything like those adulterers, really he doesn’t but… you humans are slaves to your desires (he says, completely unaware of the irony his statement brings), he doesn’t want you to bring harm to your relationship because your human heart is fickle (you have not been made aware of your ‘relationship’ with the Lord of Geo) so he shall personally ensure that no one and nothing will allow you to stray from him.

And yes this is all because he cares about you and definitely not because when he sees other mens eyes flit across you he has to use every ounce of self control to prevent him from smiting the filth where they stand for allowing their lecherous eyes trail across you like a cut of meat at the market or a pretty jewel to possess (again, completely lacking in the necessary self awareness to recall how his own lustful eyes rake across your form).

Any man that makes an advance towards you shall meet a grisly end.

The shopkeeper who gave you an extra bag of rice on the house flees Liyue harbour muttering nothing but reverent prayers and desperate pleas for mercy to Rex Lapis for his transgression.

The Physician who helped bandage up your torso after you were wounded by a follower of Osial was offered a far more lenient punishment. Any place his skin may have made contact with you is carved off, his life is only spared as he was helping you however Morax cannot help the way his claws dig into his palms leaving fresh welts in the calloused skin, still unused to this humanoid form, unable to contain his rage at the thought of another touching you in a state of undress, even if only to heal you. Your bare skin is for his hands alone. If someone had to dress your wounds then they should have summoned him (please note that he has not made his affections for you known to you or anyone else for that matter)

After his most recent battle, felling yet another God who rivalled him for the position of Archon, Morax who had decided to take some weeks to allow for Liyue harbour to recover and the Adepti to rest. However when he learns it was a follower of Osial who dared to mar your delicate skin… He is rallying his Adepti with a fervour and aggression unseen from the warrior god. No one is entirely sure what has incited Morax to take such a devotion to ensuring Osial is destroyed but with his pupils in slits and his grip on Vortex Vanquisher so tight it looks as though the staff may snap, none of the Adepti are brave enough to question their lord.

Despite being renowned as the most fearsome of fighters no one, not even the closest of Morax’s allies had seen such a slaughter brought down by the Draconic lord of Geo. 

Barbaric.

Savage. 

Monstrous.

A slaughter.

Countless words could be used to describe the massacre Morax unleashed upon Osial, the Overlord of the Vortex and all his followers; however those were the most commonly repeated in the months following the extermination.

All knew to be wary of Morax, however that was the day the people of Teyvat truly learned to fear his wrath.

He hoped that when you looked out of the bay of Liyue Harbour and saw the Guyun Stone Forest, a complete destruction of every remnant of Osial and his forces, you would be reminded of his love for you, you would realise Morax is clearly the superior choice compared to all the other men around you.

Who but Morax could give you Teyvat?

Who but Morax would engulf the world in flame if only to see you smile?

Who but Morax could and would give you every comfort mora could afford?

He had frequently entertained various plans for his courtship with you; however the one his mind spun most frequently was to win the Archon war and assume his role as one of the chosen seven. Then he would raise you up as his consort, granting you immortality and binding the two of you eternally in a contract of marriage. 

Of course that didn’t mean he couldn’t let his mind wander to other fantasies, his mind swirling with thoughts of spiriting you away to his palatial domain and keeping you there for days, weeks, months, years, however it took for his insatiable desire for you to be satiated. Only then would he leave his domain to win the war and return to you as the victor of the brutal war and one of the seven, finally able to rest a crown upon your head. 

Admittedly he had yet to confess his desire to take you to wife or even that he loved you so desperately and fervently that it was one of the few things that managed to frighten the lord of contracts.

But surely you knew, even if he hadn’t verbalised it. He refused to believe you didn’t feel the tug between you both, reeling you together. You simply must understand what it's like to look into his eyes and feel as though you’re seeing clearly for the first time in your life. You have to know what its like to feel as though every step apart is energy wasted. You too must crave to feel his bare skin against your own, willing to merge into one if only to bring you both closer together.

Even if you somehow did not feel the same things… surely you must feel his gaze upon you. When he looks down at his city his eyes rest only on you, no matter how much he tries to break his gaze away from you.

Besides he doesn’t need words when he has made his romantic intentions towards you more than obvious in the way his draconic instincts have been roaring for him to. You have accepted his gifts of courtship happily, you clearly understand that he can fulfil his role in providing for you and any young you may have. He has seen you wearing the glaze lily in your hair, the very same lily he had his adepti scour the war torn lands for days to obtain. 

Admittedly you seemed rather hesitant to accept the chests of mora and countless jewels he had left on your doorstep but equally you didn’t reject the gifts. As far as he was concerned that was proof enough that you had accepted his offer of courtship. By all draconic standards you were now officially entered into a contract with the rising Lord of Liyue and he would not take any contract lightly.

Despite the occasional event where some filthy wretch had to be taught to keep their lecherous eyes and hands off the Lord of Contracts future consort and the fact that he had not been able to converse with you about the future of your relationship, he believed his ‘relationship’ with you was going exceedingly well. 

In spite of this and much to the rage of Morax, another reprobate had decided to give you an offer of courtship.

Morax can feel rage thickening in his veins, viscous and violent. Watching you blush softly at the Mortal’s meagre proposition. He understood mortals were far more inclined towards change and adaptation than a being such as he could even begin to comprehend as a deity that stands unchanging as stone, refusing to be eroded by the sands of time or the winds of change. Even so he did not expect such a flagrant betrayal. You don't even have the decency to look shameful as you forsake every thoughtful gift the lord of contracts had spent countless hours pouring over to ensure you received only the best.

Even if Rex Lapis didn’t currently have the time to display his affection verbally he had ensured that he had more than made up for it with his opulent gifts, only the finest for his future consort.

He had been desperately trying to restrain himself from stealing you away to his personal realm every time he saw you pass through the centre of the harbour. He had managed to restrain himself, displaying such self control and patience that he surprised even himself but a man has limits and the prime adeptus could stand no further insult.

How dare that vermin stand where he should, face to face with you, gazing into your eyes, drinking in the warmth that pooled into your cheeks, his arm extended with a meagre sweet flower clutched in his sweaty palm, the stem already drooping from being clutched so tightly.

Perhaps if you begged softly for the poor fools life Morax may bestow a rare act of mercy and only remove the man's eyes or tongue rather than his life, if only to see his beloved happy however all thoughts of Mercy were dashed when you accepted the flower with a soft smile gracing your face.

He didn’t think it was possible for his beloved’s glowing smile to inspire such a primal rage within him.

The city of Liyue harbour came to a stand still as their mighty Lord descended upon their city with a swiftness imperceptible to the naked eye to stand between you and your would be suitor. 

A clawed hand clasped around the mortal man’s throat, blood trickling out of the small incisions the razor sharp claws of his humanoid form.

The man gasped for air however Morax’s grip was not dissuaded. His hand only faltered when he heard a familiar voice cry out

“Lord Morax! Please! Please release him i beg of you” 

He turned his attention to you now perched on your knees, grasping at the bottom of his robe in a desperate plea and display of reverence. Although his blood still simmered with the fury of betrayal both at you and the wretch that had tempted you away from his side, seeing you now on your knees for him, tears welling in your soft eyes he simply couldn’t stay angry, not at you at least.

He threw the young man down on the ground with a sickening crack, watching him writhe around desperately clutching at the wounds on his throat.

No more waiting and no more distractions. This little infraction has persuaded him to do exactly what he needed to this entire time. 

Taloned hands scoop you up, pressing you close into a solid, warm chest as you are quickly whisked away from the harbour and everything you had ever known. He should have known better than to allow you to wander freely without his stewardship or guiding hand to lead you.

Thankfully here in Morax’s private domain you two will be able to remain unbothered for as long as he sees fit, remaining far away from any man that may dare to tempt you away from him and he can rest easy knowing you will be tended to by the servants whilst he goes out and deals with the rodent that tried to damage he and his beloved’s relationship. 

Not that it shall matter anymore once the mortal is disposed of. After all, despite his reputation as a war monger and monster, Morax is capable of understanding and empathy. You cannot help the fact that it is human nature to wish to try every experience, to culminate a portfolio of countless events and adventures, it really was a failing on his behalf to not keep a closer eye on you. Not to worry, from here on out he shall never part from your side, he shall be with you every moment of every day to remind you of your vow.

Of course if he wins the archon war, and he will, he knows in his very bones that he was born for the role of archon then he shall have the power and authority to raise you up by his side, as his consort and bestow you with eternal life and only then you shall truly remain at each others sides, forever. He shall not even entertain the thought of you being stolen from him again, covetous creature that he is.

[queers-gambit]

Aces

prompt: ( requested ) during a terrible storm, you're invited to stay at your boss' house. years of tip-toeing around one another comes to an end when emotions are finally laid on the table.

pairing: Tommy Shelby x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Peaky Blinders

word count: 3.5k+

warning: honestly, it's pretty tame. some cursing, kinda-sorta one bed, most def OC Tommy, fluff, author is def on the Grace Hating Train but it's mild.

With a grunt, you threw the file of paperwork from your hands across the empty room; scattering across the floor. You were agitated, grouchy, beyond exhausted, and yet, there was no use in trying to leave when the worst storm to ransack England was being unleashed from the seediest parts of hell.

All you wanted was to go to bed for about 16 hours, but as midnight ticked closer and closer, that dream was dwindling. You'd be lucky to get a few hours at this point since your job was demanding enough to warrant early mornings and late nights. But this night was later than ever before.

You often wondered if your employer's antics brought this hell-storm upon you all, but figured, God didn't care that much about Small Heath. He most certainly didn't care for the Devil running it.

"Woah!" A voice laughed when the file went flying. "Gott'an arm on yah, love! Nearly took me fuckin' eye out!"

"Ha-ha," you mocked John Shelby, your employer's younger brother. "What're you still doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same," he smirked, squatting so he was in front of you with an exaggerated pout. "Why're you still here, love? Tommy's still gotcha workin'?"

"No, it's my own vocation."

"Tommy don't pay overtime, sweetheart."

"No shit," your eyes rolled. "In case I'm the only one capable of seeing it, there's an outlandish storm outside that prevents me from getting home." You gestured around where you sat on the floor, surrounded by files and other paperwork, "So, what else was I gonna do to pass the time?"

"It's not that bad," he waved you off. "C'mon, I'm off t'the Garrison, come with me, love. We can drink 'til the storm passes, huh?"

"John, seriously, I'm warning you," you deadpanned, watching him adjust his flatcap.

"C'mon, sweet cheeks, we can endure it," he laughed, opening the door and literally being shoved back by the force of the wind. You didn't make a sound, just reaching to hold down the papers around you as he grunted and groaned, trying to shut the flailing door; only able to once he threw his entire weight into it.

"Told you," you mused, his face and coat dripping wet from the short time the door was open.

"So, you're staying here, then?" He asked, panting, trying to play off the entire ordeal.

"I figured I'd get some more work done, it's not like Tommy gives any days off," you shrugged.

"He'd give you whatever you asked for," John smirked, taking his coat off.

"No, he needs me to do shit on the daily, there aren't days off, John Boy," you rolled your eyes playfully. "But I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to work for you idiots."

"Hey," he pouted.

"Oh, honey, if it helps any, you're my favorite idiot!"

"Good," he pointed at you with a small laugh. "But seriously, love, if you need the day off, Tommy would do it."

"No, there's so much to do here," you frowned. "We're on track to reopen in a few weeks, and if I take a day off, we'll fall behind, and you know Tommy doesn't do delays."

The gambling den the Shelby's operated was getting a make over now that The Shelby Company Limited was soon to be up and running. Hence why you were there in an empty room with only files around you and a dimly lit lap, you were trying to get shit organized before furniture could be moved back in.

You would have to restock Polly's office, Tommy's, Arthur's, and John's - all of who were Company members and would need their space to work. Not to mention the completely different office Tommy was currently eyeing to use as his base of operation, something you, as his personal assistant, was expected to help with every step of the way. Honestly, it was a miracle Tommy was ever able to get shit done before you - an organizational Goddess.

"Well," John sighed, looking around for a moment before shrugging and placing his hands on his hips, "want some help?"

You chuckled, "No, it's all right, John, you go on. Surely the lads will be home soon - "

Speak of the Devil! And He will appear!

The door burst open, sending your files every which way from the gust of wind; several bodies shoving their way inside before the lone, single body of Tommy Shelby stalked in last. He shut the door without issue, being a force of nature himself; a professionally observant, silent, lone menace that commanded the attention of any room he walked into. People on the street parted for him like the Red Sea, flocked to the darkened parts of the streets just to get a glimpse of the gangster in motion.

For as long as you can remember, you've harbored overwhelming affection for your boss, but never once vocalized it out of sheer fear of rejection.

He was Thomas Shelby. He was an enigma; a mysterious, stoic man that instilled a sense of fear and respect from those around him. You included, but yet never dare let your admiration for your employer be known in public. You loved him from a distance; admiring him and feeling yourself fall further into your unrequited love due to the intimate proximity you shared. He's always treated you as exactly what you were - a valuable member of the Company and his personal assistant. You worked intimately together on a daily basis, and each night you went home, you would scream into a pillow out of sheer frustration.

Being his personal assistant meant you were constantly in close proximity, and no matter how hard you tried to fight your feelings, it was impossible. He was Thomas bloody Shelby - insanely suave, charismatic, a deep nut to crack, but once he opened up, he was insanely loyal, caring, even decently amusing. He was all you wanted, but never felt secure enough to admit your feelings for him.

You were greeted happily by the men, all piling into the Shelby home to take refuge from the storm. You were left to silently rock to your feet and start gathering the papers that had gone flying in their entrance, glancing up when a hand offered help in rounding up your supplies. "Thank you, Mr. Shelby, but I got it," you insisted quietly, accepting the pages he handed you.

Tommy always had a soft spot for you.

He was silent for a moment, then asked, "What're you still doin' here?"

"Storm makes it impossible to get home," you shrugged. "I was waiting until it lessened, but it doesn't seem to," you glanced out the window, still shuffling files and papers together.

"You've worked all day," he sighed, "c'mon."

"Uh... Where?"

"Think you've earned a drink," he eased, already striding out of the room. You quickly finished gathering your papers, stacking them all together, but was pleasantly shocked when Tommy returned to the empty room with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey.

"Mr. Shelby, don't - "

But he was already sat on the ground, back against a wall, watching you with amusement. "Think a man's too good to sit on the floor?" He asked, uncorking the bottle.

"When their suit is so expensive that I have to take it to a specific cleaners, perhaps, then yes," you answered truthfully.

"I've money to spare, I can send this suit to be cleaned by another errand boy, you won't have to any longer," he poured two glasses of whiskey, "but tonight's company is too good to pass up."

You laughed, "Oh, no, what did you do?"

"Hmm?"

"You're kissing my arse a little, what've you done? What mess do I have to clean tomorrow?"

He smirked as you finally sat beside him, a bit stiffly, but accepted the drink he served. "Nothing, love, this storm's put a halt on everything," he gestured to the window, unaware that your heart stalled in your chest when you heard him call you 'love'. "What is it you were working on?" He asked, fingering the few files stacked between you. "Ah," he mused, reading the titles of the packets, "trying to get a jump on tomorrow, huh?"

"Not very much else to do," you shrugged. "I... I got a little frustrated. I think I'll need Polly to go over a few things with me."

"I'm sure you've got it," he spoke quietly. "I wouldn't have hired you if incapable."

You nodded, "Right, of course, sir."

Mr. Shelby offered you a look, taking a swig of whiskey. "You know, after hours, you don't have to be so professional."

"You didn't hire me to be unprofessional, though."

"No, I didn't, but this isn't a work meeting," he offered his glass. "We can still be friendly, can we not?"

You clinked his glass with yours, "Sure, of course we can..." How the hell could you be 'friendly' to the man you've pined after for the past two years? "So, I heard Grace skipped town," you started, instantly wincing when you realized what you said. "I-I'm so sorry, Mr. Shelby, I didn't mean to - "

But he chuckled, "You heard correct." He waited a long moment, then offered, "She's gone - for good."

You tested the waters, "Is... That a good thing?"

"It is."

"I thought you liked the barmaid?"

"I thought I did, too, but I've been wrong before."

"I doubt that."

"No, truly," he smirked, "I've made my fair share of mistakes."

"That you'd be willing to admit to?"

"Well, that's a different story," he mused, downing the last of his glass. "C'mon," he decided, sitting up, "the others are in the den, if you'd like to join?"

"Oh, no, I don't wish to intrude."

"Where were you going to sleep, then? If this storm doesn't die off in the next hour?" You gestured to where your coat and belongings were bunched up beside you, shrugging lightly. "No, absolutely not," he glared when he took in your makeshift bed, "you're coming in, you'll stay the night here."

"No, you lot are having family time - "

"And why do you assume you aren't family yet?" He asked sharply, making you reel back a little. "Three years, you've worked with my family, a portion of that before any of us came home. C'mon, love, you're more family than others wish to pretend to be."

"You mean that?" You worried softly.

He offered a look of mild offense, "I don't speak to hear the sound of my own voice. I would not say it if I did not mean it."

The whiskey in your system encouraged you to offer a sharp look, snipping, "It would not kill you to just say, 'Yes, I mean it.'"

Tommy smirked lightly, nodding, "Yes, I mean it. Come, you'll stay here tonight."

You couldn't fight off the smile even if you tried. With your coat and purse in one hand, Tommy took the other to help you off the floor. Like a gentleman, he took your belongings before leading you further into the Shelby home; leaving the empty gambling den to find the others all stuffed around a table with a card game loudly being played; fireplace stoked to life.

Polly greeted you happily, not knowing you were still here. Tommy set your things to the side as Arthur wrangled you into the seat beside him - insisting you had to be on his team! A quick sniff of his tea mug assured he was waist deep in the whiskey.

"Okay! New player at the table!" John announced, yanking all the cards back to hand over to Polly. They were all smoking, minus you and Finn. "You all know the rules - hey, hey, hey, no! Tommy's not on her team!" He pointed at you and his brother, who had sat beside you to sandwich you between Shelby's.

"Why not?" Tom asked, accepting the tea from Polly as Finn handed you your own.

"Thank you, little love," you whispered, pecking his cheek as he giggled.

"Becuase you two can communicate without words - it's fucking weird!" John insisted. "All right! Polly, you're with Tommy - the fucker likes to cheat."

"Being better than you isn't cheating, John Boy."

"Is when there's money on the line!" John laughed, Arthur leaning over to explain to you the game. He was actually a very good teacher, and even for a few rounds, you weren't a "viable player" just to let you watch and get the gist of things.

However, when you joined the game, it was far more intense than you had given credit for. But the Shelby's were competitive lads, Polly just happy to laugh and remind the boys of the rules; letting them dominate the table as you were content to just watch, laugh, and sip your tea. After a few rounds, Finn came over and hopped up on your lap, declaring you two a team now, and believe it or not, you won the next three hands!

"CHEATERS! AYE!?" John yelled, laughing right after as a boom of thunder rattled the home.

"No, call that beginners luck!" Arthur tried to defend, Tommy lighting a new cigarette.

"Or maybe John's just not accustomed to losing?" You grinned. "Especially from a lady?"

"I lost to a lady? Where? Where is she?" John looked around comically, earning a swift kick under the table that rattled the tea cups.

"All right, all right, next hand, we play for money, come on, come on, bets in the center," Polly instructed. "Finn, don't," she warned and you reached up to push the lad's hand down as he was ready to toss in a few pounds.

"Here, I'll cover us," you told the little lad, both grinning when you offered money to the center. Unknown to you, Tommy was keeping mental track of however much you were betting - intent to pay you back. Yet he didn't say anything, content to watch you and Finn have fun together.

Arthur and John were the most vocal of the group, arguing about scores and tallies and who won which round. You chuckled as Finn leaned into your chest, everyone waiting for the two to finish arguing; Polly looking over with a broad smirk before dropping her gaze. Tommy had seemingly naturally moved closer to you, one arm extended behind your chair to keep you close to his warmth.

Neither seemed to notice.

Not even when you would turn to crack a joke directly in Tommy's ear, his lips spreading in an easy smile that made Polly fight off her own grin. Grace was something special to Tommy, sure, this was true, but after the time together, she could tell that the two of you had become something more - without even verbalizing it.

Never realizing.

Hours passed, the storm still raged, two cartons of cigarettes was smoked between the lot of them, and there was no clear winner in sight. Finn had fully deflated into your embrace, asleep despite the loud thunder and blinding flashes of lightning. Your head had lulled onto Tommy's shoulder, sleep clawing at your eyelids as you listened to a drunken John and Arthur still argue about the card game. Polly eventually called it quits and bid everyone a goodnight, smiling softly when she noted the cozy seating between you and Tommy.

The longer you sat there, you more exhausted you became.

"C'mon, love," Tommy whispered softly, rousing you from your half-sleep, "let's get you to bed. C'mon, up you get," he smirked, aiding you from your chair as you kept a firm hold on his little brother. "We'll see you lot in the morning," he told his brothers.

"Night," John and Arthur waved, still deep into their argument, but smirking to one another when Tommy lead you up the stairs. When you were gone from sight, John leaned in and asked his eldest brother, "Think Tommy'll make a move tonight?"

Arthur glanced up the stairs, musing, "If he doesn't, he might be stupider then we thought."

John agreed.

Upstairs, Tommy opened the bedroom door and let you lay Finn softly on his bed, pausing to tug his shoes off and cover him with his blanket; moving his stuffed teddy bear closer and watching his sleeping hand naturally curl around it. You snuck out of the door, Tommy shutting the door, and tangled your hand with his.

Silently, he lead you to his bedroom.

It was small, ridiculously small, but it was enough for his single person. Tommy shut the door after you, moving around, muttering, "You can sleep in this," as he handed you one of his shirts, "and I'll be in the drawing room if you need me - "

"Tommy, I'm not kicking you out of your room," you sighed. "I can sleep on the sofa for the night, it's not - "

"I'm not letting you do that," he refused sharply.

"Then we seem to be at an impasse," you decided with perked brows. "Either we're both sleeping on the sofa or we both crash your bed. You choose."

He chuckled dryly, "And here I thought the whiskey would make you less stubborn."

"Wishful thinking."

He nodded, letting you have the room to change and get under the covers. It was decently cold in his room, more so without pants; the storm doing nothing to remedy that, and when Tommy returned, everything felt different.

A good different, but still different.

Neither of you made eye contact, him joining you in the absurdly small bed after blowing the candles out. You settled on your side, facing the wall, and after a few moments of adjusting, Tommy was settling down - but hesitating to deflate in comfort.

"Is it all right if I, uh... If I...?"

"Yeah, 's all right, Tommy," you whispered, reaching for the hand that hovered over your waist and pulling it so he was curled around you. It was all he needed to readjust, sigh to himself, and deflate against your back. You shivered slightly when his warm breath fanned over your neck and shoulder; his hand splaying over your belly and rubbing his thumb mindlessly. "Thank you for letting me stay the night," you whispered.

"Wasn't gonna send you home in this weather," he answered, voice vibrating the shell of your ear. "Besides," he whispered in a sigh, "this is where I wanted you, and where I wanted to be."

You chuckled, "Oh, yeah? So cold in here you need a warm body in bed with you?"

"No," he whispered, "but I've been in love with you for months now that I didn't want you far from me. Doesn't feel right, seeing you go home without me - everyday. I was overjoyed to come back and see you still here."

"What?" He didn't let you turn around, just kept you both there; locked in your spoon. "Tommy, what're you saying?"

He took a sobering breath, "That this is what I want, this is where I want us to be."

"That's the whiskey talking."

"No, love, it's you," his lips danced across your ear, making you shiver. "It's always been you, but I wasn't in my right mind to do anything about it."

"And now you are?"

"I might be, I couldn't go another minute with you thinking I don't want you - that I don't value you in my life. The fact that you were ready to sleep downstairs hurt me more than I'm willing to admit," he sighed, "and I knew, I needed to confess a few things so you know, you're welcome in this family. You won't ever sleep downstairs, love, you're meant to be here... With me... If you want to be."

You had to slap his hand to get him to loosen his grip and let you turn around to face him; but his hand remained on your, moving up to grip your ribs. In a whisper, you asked, "You're being honest? Genuine?"

"I can't lie to you, you can always tell. So, am I lying?"

"I don't think so," you whispered with skepticism, eyes narrowed. Neither of your voices rose above a whisper, "Why say any of this, Tommy?"

"Because the idea of going another day without at least trying to tell you how I feel was beginning to feel suffocating."

"What about Grace?"

"It's taken me a bit, but I know now that I was infatuated with her simply because I had already decided you were out of my league."

"Do you hear yourself?" You grinned, caressing his cheek. "You're everything I've wished for, Tommy, but know I can't have. You're the one in a league of your own, I'm the one unable to touch you."

His head shook, "You're all I've wanted and more. I wasn't sure you'd think it appropriate - my affection for you - given you work for me."

"The same reason I feared voicing my affection for you, too."

"Now that it's in the open," he whispered, "how do you want to proceed?"

"We can figure logistics out later," you smiled, tracing your fingertips over his face, "but for now, I just want to enjoy this. I never thought you'd look at me the same way, and now that you do, I don't want to look away."

"You won't have to," he whispered. "I'm in this for us, my sweet, if you are."

"Nowhere I'd rather be," you whispered, cuddled close, and simply breathing the same air. For a single moment, Tommy felt unparalleled peace; the shovels quiet, heart content, and body warm.

requesting rules and masterlist

Peaky Blinders masterlist

[noire999]

Cuddle with me?

•°. *࿐ nanami x reader •°. *࿐

•°. *࿐ cw. non-curse AU, 18+, MDNI, cockwarming, praise kink, daddy kink, breeding kink, vaginal sex

I will post toji's ver. soon!

Toji's!

"kentooo" you call out to him pouting while he's still working at his desk. It's late at night now and he is still working. Despite what he says that he dislikes working overtime, he can't help but do it since he's the CEO of the company.

"yes, my love?" he asks you while he's typing something on his laptop. You lightly lean on his desk on his side which makes him turn to you looking at him pouting. "you said you would cuddle with me..." Ah. He must've forgotten about that. It's already late and it's been more than two hours since he's sat in his home office.

It hasn't been 15 minutes already and yet he can feel you squirming on his lap so much. "stop squirming." He says this as he wraps his arm around your waist. " 'm sorry, Kento, 'jus want you so bad." You look up at him with those doe eyes that he finds it hard to resist. You give him pepper kisses all over his face as you continue to grind on his clothed cock.

"Fuck, baby. I'm not getting any work done at this rate."

"Please daddy? Please pleaseee?"

"How about I just cockwarm you daddy??" He doesn't have to think about it since you were going to do it anyways no matter what he says. His baby girl always gets what she wants.

"Alright, but you better behave so I can finish this quickly." He kisses you deeply feeling his warm tongue on yours as you unzip his pants, rubbing your pussy on his hard-on, he takes it you didn't wear any panties and already assuming you would do this to him.

"Kentooo~" You moan his name as you slide his cock into your warm pussy. You take your time to fully adjust to his size until it reaches the hilt. He can feel you pulsating on his big cock, wanting to move but you dare not to. You want to be a good girl for him, you want him to praise you. "fuck...so good baby...just like that." He pecks your cheeks, as you struggle not to move right now.

You don't know how many minutes have passed already. Your brain is mushy as you lay your head back at his shoulder from the feeling of cockwarming him. You just feel yourself cumming if he fucks you right now. He saves the last document annnd he's done. He shuts down his laptop and puts all his materials to the side.

He immediately places you on the table, and fucks your needy pussy. He lets out a groan and feels you tighten around him. He fucks you hard from behind as you feel his breath against your ear. "Such a good girl for daddy. Letting him cockwarm your pretty pussy for him to fuck you hard." You whine. You feel him pull your hair and you pulsate on his cock. He feels this and decides to tease you. "You like that baby? You like it when I get a little rough on you? Is that it, baby girl?"

Your eyes are rolled back into your head. He fucking you like he's releasing all the stress he had for the whole day. And you cannot form any words right now. Only the 'yes...daddy...', 'fuckkk!' and your moans fill up the room. "Baby girl, decided to cockwarm daddy to release his stress, huh?" He says this as he gives your ass a slap. He feels clenching on his cock as you nod dumbly. "Shit. Baby girl, you're so good to me. Gonna cum inside you now, okay?"

"please please please!!! I want daddy's cum!! Wanna feel daddy's cum inside me!"

oh so now you can suddenly talk. begging for his cum. begging for him to fill you up. You arch your back and he can feel you cumming already on his cock, milking him. "F-fuck!" Not a second later, he cums deeply inside you so you won't waste a drop of his cum. He stays like that for a while just how you always like it. And both of you sit on his office chair with you on his lap. You feel yourself calming down and him caressing your lower belly.

"Kento?" You look at him with those same doe eyes he fell in love with.

"Yes darling?"

"I love you so much, Kento." You smile at him and kisses his lips.

"I love you too, my dear." ♡

[sanyu-thewitch05]

I had this thought last night, need to share with you:

The Yandere this time is a childhood friend,his name is Morris Masques

He and Darling used to be best friends, he was a lonely little boy with black hair and yellow eyes,he didn't have any friend till little Darling came along

But then one day,Darling began to avoid Morris, when he asked her she snapped at him and called him a freak then left. He never saw her again after that

He carried that haunting memory into adulthood,even when he became a adult and a successful entrepreneur,he still can't forget that moment of betrayal,a grudge he had against Darling

One day, however he saw her again, Darling had joined his company. He thought he would never see her again, let's just say he was furious when they met face-to-face

"Why are you even here anyway???!! After what you did,you have some guts coming here!!!!"

"........"

"I'm sorry"

Morris was suprised Darling apologized and he learned the truth of that year told by her

Darling's parents didn't like her being friends with Morris so they forced her to stop being friends with him,as a child Darling didn't know any better so she acted bad towards Morris so that he wouldn't get close to her. Afterwards Darling's family moved away to a new home which made Darling left Morris

Darling's parents are deceased,when remembered the past,she decided to join his company and wanted to make up with him

Morris wasn't sure to trust her on her story but he didn't do anything further about it. As a employee of his company, Darling was very hardworking,she wanted to make amends so she didn't object at all even when he gave her a hard time: More workload than usual

Sometimes he saw her sleeping at her desk after working overtime,she woke up later on with someone's jacket on her shoulder,she didn't know it was Morris'

Although Darling wanted his forgiveness,she believed that they'll never be the same again and he'll always hate her

When Morris saw her genuine effort in getting his forgiveness,he started to have feelings for her again and the buried obsession for her started to rise again

Things were well for a time,Darling was a diligent employee of his company and Morris was pleased with how she was doing well,he treated her better gradually. But then something happened

Morris heard words of Darling's plan to transfer herself to a different company as she has gotten a job offer from them. Her fellow co-workers were happy for her

He knew that company has a handsome president like him, he thought she was trying to leave him for another man

After all these years of leaving him and coming back to him,now she's trying to leave again ?

So Morris drove to her apartment in the middle of night and it was raining heavily, Darling was suprised to find a wet Morris at her doorstep. She asked him to come in,that was a mistake

When she lost her caution,he immediately pinned her down into her bed and he fucked her. She said she wanted his forgiveness right?

Then do it with her life,he was damaged for years becuz of her lies,so it's fair she devote her life to be his wife as a way to earn his forgiveness right?

Darling don't have to worry, he'll treat her like his good little housewife and give her his babies~

TW: Noncon, dubcon, impregnating kink, stalking

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I got busy with dance team tryouts and homework.

You had to make it right to him. You had to.

Morris Masques, the pale boy with hair black as night and eyes yellow as the sun. He was all alone until you asked him to play with you. You played with him until you started to avoid him. You hoped he would get the hint and leave you alone. But he didn't, and on the last day of the school year, you said those final haunting words.

"Stay away from me, you freak!" You screamed, making Morris cry.

You walked your tiny body to your driveway and never saw him again. Morris, however, has thought about you nonstop. Your words haunting his psyche for 22 agonizing years. Morris constantly asking himself what he did wrong. That moment of hurt turned into decades of obsession and grudges. Then, you walked into his company one day in spring, specifically March. You saw his face in Forbes magazine and knew this was your chance to make things right with him. You applied for the job of his secretary and secured your way of seeing him. Now, you're walking into his office, prepared to face him.

You knock on the door, and he tells you to come in.

"Hi, Mr. Masques, I'm your new secretary, Y/N," You say, looking into his now golden eyes.

His face is red, and he slams his fists on his desk.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why?! Why are you even here anyway???!! After what you did, you have some guts coming here!!!!" Morris yells, slamming his door shut. "........"

"I'm sorry. My parents made me stop being friends with you. They thought you were too close to me. Obsessed with me somehow. I tried to ignore you, thinking you'd stop the friendship by yourself. But you kept coming to my house asking to play, and my parents told me to stop our friendship the hard way. I'm so sorry for any pain or mental torment I caused you because of my parent's actions."

Tears flow down your face, makeup and mascara ruined.

"They won't bother you anymore. We moved to a new house after I stopped being friends with you."

"Y/N-"

"They're dead. There's no one else to fuck our old friendship even more but me!"

Morris sighs and brings you a tissue.

"Please go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. It's not fitting for a first day at work. Also, I'll think about your apology."

"Thank you."

After that, you and Morris had been able to keep yourselves from killing each other. Morris gave you loads of work, and you graciously accepted it, feeling like this was your punishment. Sometimes, you would work overtime until the wee hours of the morning. Then, wake up with a fancy, warm, cologne-infused jacket over your shoulders. You'd never know who it was. But by the time you left your desk, it'd be gone.

He hates me...I know he does. I deserve every ounce of hatred in his heart.

You diligently worked hard every day until Morris called you into his office as usual.

"Do you know why I called you in here?" Morris asks, his hands on his shiny, brown, wooden desk.

"To fire me?"

Morris laughs and takes your hands.

"Non, I'm taking you out for dinner for your hard work. A dinner with a billionaire? How about it?" Morris asks, looking happily into your eyes.

He doesn't hate me?

"Sure," You answer, smiling back at him.

After dinner, he began to treat you better. He smiled at you when you walked into his office. He made coffee for you. He even gave you a bonus after all the months of work. Then, in January, a rival company, Flor, offered you a job you couldn't resist. You could work as the CEO's secretary for $400,000 with a 5% bonus every year. Morris was only paying you $200,000.

"You should so take the job! You could move out of your apartment with that type of money," Your coworker, Cherise, says, talking to you in the elevator.

"Then I will. I'll submit my resignation form at the end of the day," You respond, walking to Morris's office.

"We'll make sure to throw you a going away party!" Cherise squeals, hugging you.

You open the door to Morris's office and see him happily sipping coffee.

"Morris, I've got good news. But you'll only see it at the end of the day. Call me when you see it," You whisper, confusing him.

"Ok..." Morris replies.

You end your shift and drive back home to cook your favorite meal. Morris is looking over the resignation documents and sees yours.

"What?! Why?" Morris yells, sitting in the dark. A lone lamp on his desk shining. "Reason for resignation: Another job offered me a higher salary."

He crumples the paper when he reads your comment.

"P.S. Flor offered me a 400k bonus with a 5% bonus every year. I can finally move out of my apartment with that salary. I'm thankful for all you've done for me while here. Thankful? Thankful, my ass! How dare she leave me for another man? Especially that Spaniard Santiago!"

Santiago Cruz, the handsome CEO of Flor. He's also had a longtime crush on you since college. Which is something he told Morris when he found out you were working for Morris.

"If you hate her so much, you can send a nice transfer to my company. We'd love to have her here," Santiago teased, hitting Morris on the shoulder.

That was six months ago. Now Morris has changed, and he doesn't want to lose you. Morris ran to his car and drove straight to your apartment. The rain pours onto his windshield, and his rage builds as he pulls into a parking garage. He walks up the stairs and peaks through your windows. Your silhouette appears in his vision, and he presses his ears on your door.

"Santiago, hi! I'm so glad you called!" You squeal, eager to talk with your new boss.

"Me too, mi corazón. So, have you decided to transfer here? Santiago flirts, hoping he can be with you. "Once you get to my company, I'll give you a personal tour."

"I'll be waiting for it."

Morris's mind ran wild.

She's leaving me! She's leaving me! She's leaving me! She's leaving me for him!

Morris pounds on your door, and you tell Santiago someone is at the door.

"Morris, oh my gosh, come inside. You're soaking wet!" You say, opening the door for your boss. "Why are you here in such bad weather?"

When you lock the door, Morris pushes you onto your bed.

"How dare you even attempt to leave me for him?" Morris yells, pinning your hands above your head.

"Santiago? All he did was offer me a job. It's not like I'm dating him or anything!" You yell back, making Morris's rage worse.

"Santiago wants you at his company so you can be his! He doesn't want you as a secretary. You said yes! You're leaving me again! I'm not letting you cruelly leave me again!"

"I'm not leaving you! We're still friends!"

"No, you're leaving me! You have to make it up to me. You have to."

Morris's tears fall onto your face, and you realize how much your words from years ago scarred him.

"Morris, of course, I'll make it up to you."

"Really? You will?"

"Yes."

Morris kisses you and leaves a trail of hickies on your neck as you squirm.

"Morris, what are you doing?!" You scream, trying to get him off you.

"I'm letting you make it up to me," Morris answers, unbuttoning your shirt and pressing the speaker button on your phone. "I hope you can hear me, Santiago."

"Morris, what are you doing to her?!" Santiago yells, getting ready to call the police.

Morris removes your bra and fondles your breasts. He puts his head between your breasts and motorboats himself.

"Morris~" You moan, your legs squirming underneath him.

"Yes, my sweet," Morris teases, looking up at you while kissing your stomach.

"Morris, stop it! She doesn't want you!" Santiago screams, closing the door to your car. "I swear when I get you, I'll kill you!"

"Go ahead," Morris replies, pulling down your shorts.

He pulls out his cock from his slacks and moves your underwear to the side. Morris rubs your pussy a little, then sticks his dick into you.

"Ah, Morris!" You moan, feeling a bit of pain.

"I know, bebe. I'll be gentle," Morris comforts, slowly thrusting into you.

He spreads your legs further apart and tries to put your legs into a mating press. Morris takes off his tie and ties your hands together over your head. He forcefully puts your legs into a mating press, then goes wild.

"Morris!" You moan, feeling his cock conquer your pussy.

Drool goes down your mouth, and Morris takes the opportunity to suck on your tongue. His penis releases its first round of cum, and it spills out of you as he continues to thrust inside you.

"You're going to be so plump with my babies! My babies! All mine!" Morris moans, coming close to his high.

"How long are you going to be in me?" You exclaim, your climax coming soon.

"I'm going to stay in you forever my little wife."

"Oh, God! I'm cumming!"

Morris cums a second time, releasing more semen than usual, and pulls out of you. He notices cum dripping out of your pussy and puts his cock back into you to stop the flow of cum. Morris lays his head on your breasts and unties your hands. You fall asleep from exhaustion.

20 minutes later, Santiago breaks into your apartment and goes into your room.

"Sh, Santiago. I don't want you to wake her up," Morris whispers, holding your naked body and stroking your hair.

"She's not yours. She was never interested in you that way," Santiago hisses, walking over to you.

"Well, you're certainly not having her. I'll raise her salary to a million dollars if I have to."

"And I'll make sure your company goes bankrupt and I buy you out."

"As if!"

You groan and turn in your sleep.

"Go into the living room, and we'll talk this out after I chain her up," Morris says, getting up from your bed.

Santiago angrily walks away, leaving you to sleep.

[papermint-airplane]

I'm really not doing well guys. Tl;dr my life sucks a lot. That's all you need to know.

My job is still jerking us around on the layoffs. They started in October of last year with "we're selling the department and laying everyone off in February" then when March rolled around and nothing had happened yet, told everyone "lol just kidding the buyer dropped out". So a lot of people quit because this clown company just told everyone it was willing to sell their jobs out from under them and didn't give a shit who was affected or how.

My job is not a job that can function when short staffed. It was already short staffed before they pulled this fakeout layoff shit and now we're lucky to have two people scheduled at any given time. They're paying thousands in overtime, begging people to come in even for a couple of hours on their days off because we don't have enough people to cover one shift, let alone the three they need because the department is 24/7. Customers are rude and entitled. I've been threatened, I've been called horrible names, I've been told I'm a shit human being and don't deserve to live. I'm not allowed to hang up on them. I'm expected to sit there and just take it and not say anything. Most days, we're so busy that I can't take my daily fifteen minute break or even get up to go to the bathroom. And that's only scratching the surface of what goes on at my job.

I have had a history of overworking myself in that job and everyone knows it. I've had literally hundreds of public panic attacks, three full-on mental breakdowns where I was screaming and literally tearing handfuls of my hair out in front of my coworkers from stress, ended up in the hospital twice because I thought I was having a heart attack, and took off three months in 2020 to check myself into an inpatient mental healthcare facility all the way across the country. I have had countless meetings with my supervisors and their supervisors and HR about the toxic work environment and shitty management. I had to beg them to take me off my 8 day rotation (four days of ten hour shifts, four days of eight hour shifts, all in succession with no days off in between) because I started shaking and laughing uncontrollably around day 6 because I was having a literal fucking breakdown. I have literally had to be taken away from work in an ambulance before.

On top of my anxiety being the worst it's ever been (and that includes when I lived with my abusive father), my depression has gotten so bad that all I can do nowadays is work and sleep. Sometimes I don't even get fully in the house before I pass out because I'm so exhausted. I have woken up on my living room floor after work more than once. I told them that I could no longer work shifts like that nor could I take overtime for my own mental health. And they still act like I'm lazy because I don't work 14 hour shifts daily. Bitch, I'm barely holding it together with my weekly 40 hours, and I'm expected to work every Thanksgiving and Christmas but that's just not enough. Nothing I do is enough. And now I don't even have enough energy for the few things I have that I still enjoy. Want to know why my Sims story is on hiatus? Because I have to force myself to do literally anything other than sleep. My house looks like a disgusting hoarder's nest because I can barely move on my days off. I cry all the time. I can't stand to be touched. I shower excessively because I feel filthy when I come home from work in a way I can't adequately articulate. My eczema is so bad that my neck and face are literally covered in bloody red rashes. I look horrible. I feel worse. I have gained over 150 lbs since starting that job in 2006. My thyroid is busted. Some days, I truly believe that I died long ago and this is my own personal Hell.

Now they're telling us that "we definitely have a buyer for the department and all the contracts have been signed". They said there'd be a transition period, after which we'd be laid off but we'd be told when the transition period begins. Now, we got an email telling us we're halfway through the transition period and are probably getting laid off in August "but we don't know when in August, so stay tuned." At this rate, I'm likely to show up one day and be told to go home. I have no idea when that will be and I have no way to know how to prepare.

The only reason I'm still putting up with this bullshit is because...well, to be honest, I've put in a lot of applications and got absolutely no replies. I'm an unemployable useless sack of shit. My company is at least giving us a really good severance package. I'm getting 17 weeks of pay (one week for every year I've worked there) plus another four weeks of pay, plus a $1000 bonus for staying through the transition period. I think I will also qualify for unemployment. I'm trying not to freak out but I don't know what I'm going to do when my severance runs out. I have only had two jobs in my entire life: a grocery store job when I was a teenager for 3 years and this job that I've had for nearly 18 years. My resumé is one page. I have no skills outside of this job. I'm never going to get hired anywhere that's going to pay me anywhere near what this hellhole of a job paid me.

I truly wish I were brave enough to kill myself but I'm not. I keep living and it keeps getting worse and I'm bombarded with hundreds of news articles and Tumblr posts every day telling me how the world is falling apart around me, so even if by some miracle I manage to find a job that pays me enough to fucking live, I don't have a future anyway. I'm almost 40 and I keep waiting for my life to begin but it never does. And it never will. I will never be happy. I will never be safe. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve safety. My own fucking parents hated me from the moment my mom read the lines on her pregnancy test. If my own parents can't love me, nobody can. I'm on medication and in therapy but sometimes, I wonder if it's doing anything at all. You can't fix what's wrong with me. I was just born wrong. And no matter where I go or what kind of job I end up in, the same shit will just keep repeating over and over and over because that's all I deserve. I'll just keep on hurting until global warming or war takes me out and I end up in real Hell.

In an hour, I'm going to regret writing any of this and probably delete this post. Because I'm supposed to take it and not say anything.

My Sims are the only thing that gives me any comfort anymore. Even then, I don't have the energy or attention span to do the things I want. I'm just as irrelevant on Simblr as I am in real life. If I disappeared tomorrow, nobody would notice.

[skunaskitten]

The Affair chapter 5

AU: human ceo sukuna x female reader

Contains: fluff, smut, cheating, lying, unfaithful sukuna, falling in love, oral, talk about kids, guilty heart sukuna, mention of gojo

Summary: since sukuna's wife has come back he has been switching back and forth between you and her, not knowing who to finally choose. The choice between you or his company. Something strange is happening with his wife, he is seeing her in a new way maybe he can stay with her but with you in his life things are more complicated. Now he seeks help through one of his best worker and friend.

Master list of stories

chapter 4 ch5 chapter 6

 Sukuna was so lost in thought he couldn't do any of his work right, having to retype emails that he kept messing up on and reorganizing his paperwork. 

 His stress was rising to more than what he would like it to be. He didn't know what to do now. His wife had come back too early that put an obstacle in his plans with you.

 That night he didn't come to see you now that his wife was back home he needed to attend to her needs but when she escaped to the showers he took the moment to go into another room to call you. You were so excited to hear from him his heart felt like breaking. He felt bad for not seeing you telling you the excuse and lying that it was overtime at work. All you did was smile and tell him not to worry and to get some rest.

 Sukuna laid awake for most of the night tossing and turning in bed all the worries and guilt eating him alive. When his wife felt him struggling to go to sleep, with the tossing and turning. She put an arm around his body and nuzzled against his chest trying to calm him to sleep. He was confused why she was acting this way. Why the sudden change? She never really liked to cuddle as they got older in their relationship. 

 With the little comfort he had got tonight he was able to fall asleep but with the lack of a deep sleep he didn't want to go into work. His wife however rubbed his head laying there with him "my love stay in bed today I am going into the office. You look drained of life." She told him with a smile on her face.

 He grunted and turned over hiding his face to get more sleep making her giggle. She slipped out of bed to get dressed then walked out of the home heading to the office.

 Sukuna wanted to go see you but he could not risk anyone seeing him sneaking out. This was going to be a new challenge for him.

 On her breaks and lunches she actually came back to him checking to make sure he was doing well but that meant he couldn't sneak out if he wanted to. He had to call you to tell you he can't not see you today.

 When you heard the phone ring you ran over to it and jumped onto the bed seeing sukuna's number. You smiled and answered with a flirtatious "hello kuna."

 He smiled and said "hey darling I am sorry but work is kicking my ass right now so I won't be able to see you today." 

 "Oh well then you can see after work its fine sukuna I don't mind if you come over late. It might give you better sleep." A smile formed on your face. He rubbed the back of his neck saying "yea I can't tonight at all im sorry they are keeping me over." But he liked the idea of being in bed with you getting a good night's rest. You let out a little breath saying "that's ok kuna I will wait for you. I love you. You stay safe though take care of yourself I will see you later."

 He could hear how sad you are but he could not risk anything too soon,  he had to keep you on the low. 

 "I love you beautiful, I have to go now." 

 You said goodbye to him then let out a sigh looking at the phone after hanging up then just laid down onto your bed. Sukuna rubbed his face and went to the kitchen to get something to eat, feeling horrible for even leading you into his life like this only to push you away.

 Later that night while he sat on the couch his wife walked in with a smile. "hello love hope you feel better I made reservations at the restaurant to go to. I will go get ready. That is if you still want to go." 

 He nodded to confirm he was still going then watched her disappear down the hall to their bedroom as he sighed, laying his head back then got up and walked into the room seeing her getting undressed.  Her body would never compare to the likeness of you. He loves the natural plumpness of your ass and thighs, enjoying the way they wrapped around him everytime he thrusted into you. The size of your breast are perfect to him and loves to feel them in the palm of his hands or pressed against his chest.

 His wife giggled snapping him from his thoughts as she said "sukuna save it for later go get ready." She walked into their bathroom while he went  to look at the suits to wear. He just grabbed a simple black vest and red under shirt for tonight, nothing  fancy just as his wife came out dressed in red heels, black tight dress and hair tied up with make up dusting her face. "Lets go don't want to be late."

 During dinner his eyes darted everywhere looking for any sign of someone being strange or trying to get his picture. His wife noticed how quiet he had been ever since she came back from her trip. 

 "Hey ryomen are you alright you've been quiet and closed off ever since I came back what is wrong?"

 He smirked to her saying "darling nothing is wrong everything is fine just I never seen you like this for a long time now. Why the sudden change?" 

 She smiled and slid her hand over and squeezed his hand. "I told you I want to be better for you and I had a lot of thoughts about us so I am changing." He sighed and held her hand in his then brought it to his lips kissing her knuckle. "I missed you."

 The whole dinner felt normal to him again it wasn't her flirting with random men that walked by her or got her attention. Her focus was all on him. She was actually laughing and smiling at him and he felt happy that he was finally becoming part of her life again. He chuckled hearing the stories she told about her trip while she laughed with him.

 When they got home it was lips locked and his tongue diving into her mouth grabbing at her hips pulling her against him. Sukuna roughly picked her up pushing her against the wall giving bites to her neck making her moan out. He let out a growl and dropped her onto the bed then began to strip himself down to nothing. It was not easy for him to find lust through her; he had to think of you during the intercourse with his wife. The shameful thoughts of you. All because the guilt is eating him alive.

 As he thrusted into her hearing her bark his name it was all thoughts of you. Remembering the way your breast bounced with every thrust. When your warm walls squeezed around the thickness of his cock. Feeling your body mold to his like a perfect piece. His heart was so guilty his wife noticed him losing his rhyme.

 "Sukuna..cum inside me." 

He looked at her with wife's eyes saying "what?" She smiled at him "I want to..to have a family with you." 

 With a few more thrust she came around him screaming his name but he wasn't close yet so he stopped breathing hard cursing at his inner self. She looked at him with a smile and ran a hand across his cheek. 

 "Ryomen its alright? We can do it again later. I know it was just brought onto you but I think we should start having kids."

 His wife left him alone while she was in the bathroom and he laid down covering his face with a pillow. How dare she say this to him after years of not wanting kids. After he found you to fall in love with, now she wants to be the wife he always wanted. He heard the door open and her quiet footsteps until he felt hands grab his cock. He shuddered and went to move but she grabbed his wrist saying "relax let me help you."

 He could feel her hand squeeze and jerk his shaft making him hard again only with thoughts of you. He let out a groan then felt her lips wrap around his tip taking him deep within her mouth. Feeling her suck and jerk him all he remembered was you doing it, the way you took your time to pleasure and tease every part of him. "Ahh fuck darling." Sukuna bucked his hips and released his seed into her mouth as she swallowed all of him. 

 He had to admit its been a while since his wife did this to him but seeing her didn't please him like you did. Seeing how shy you were with his cum still on your lips and when you licked it away face full of innocence. Sukuna hated this back and forth with his heart. A plan needs to come quickly but either way it's going to lead to heartbreak.

 Over a week you have not seen sukuna in person. You talked to him over the phone but it didn't feel the same. You also walked to the chicken wrap stand ordering two wraps hoping he will show up and surprise you. He didn't show up so you sent him pictures of you with the wraps telling him you have an extra for him to have dinner with you.  But he just responded that he is busy at work, to much over time. He missed you dearly and it hurt his heart.

 You texted him throughout the day telling him how much you love him and miss him. That night you ate both wraps alone reading your books while trying to keep yourself away from bad thoughts.

 However during the following days your mood was bringing you down to a depressing state. You took a walk after work through the mall with your friends as they continued to bug you about sukuna. As they dragged you through different stores you were brought into a girly store. Your eyes caught the jewelry that was on display filled with both men and women items. 

 Your eyes scanned the display case and saw a thick black leather bracelet with a golden tiger on it. A smile formed on your face wanting to give a gift to sukuna as a thank you for the book. You bought it and got a black box with pink ribbon to tie around. You wrote his name across the box with a silver marker and added a heart to his name.

 You wanted him to come over as soon as possible because you were too excited for him to get his gift but he didn't answer your phone that whole night. Maybe he is really busy with work.

 Sukuna had to put his phone on silent during another dinner date with his wife she wanted to go on a nice little candle lit dinner at a small restaurant. It was just him and her sharing smiles and sending flirtatious smirks. Sukuna was completely forgetting about you. 

 He is starting to see a new light over his wife. She was actually changing and just maybe if this continues he can be in a happy marriage. To not have that worry about having an affair and the damage to his company.

 Surprisingly to sukuna his wife didn't ask for sex and all she wanted to do was cuddle him in bed with a movie on in the background. When she went to sleep, Sukuna took out his phone and saw all the messages from you. The reality came sinking into his world. The reality that he is having an affair and seeing all your messages of you missing him. You want to see him. You're feeling lonely. Asking if he was upset with you. He can see how hurt you felt for him ignoring you. This was the first time that he has been pushing you away.

 He gave you a text saying that he was fine, just tired. Maybe he can find a way to sneak out to you. Sukuna put his phone away and laid down hugging his wife.

 The next day he was wondering why his wife was not getting up and groaning. She just started her time of the month so she pushed him away like all the other times feeling the cramps. He tried to help her but she groaned and pushed against his chest telling him to leave. 

 He sighed and said "fine I guess I am leaving now call me if you need me. I won't be in the office. I am going to a meeting outside the company. Love you." His wife just groaned at him as he sighed and left her alone.

 Sukuna did go to the meeting talking about plans and making deals with the other men from different companies he has regularly met with.

 However, it ended four hours early. He thought of using this time to finally go and see since he had pushed you off for a whole week.

 When he got to your apartment he looked to see if anyone was nearby he recognized then quickly went to your door giving it a loud knock. He realized you didn't answer so he called you hoping you would answer but then he heard the ringing go to voicemail after two rings. He pulled his phone away from him, feeling his heart get heavy. Were you mad at him?

 Then hearing the door unlocked from the other side he perked up excited to see you when the door opened he saw you and smiled. "Hey darling."

 You looked at him with tired eyes and gave him a weak smile as you stepped to the side letting him in. As soon as the door closed you jumped straight into his arms hugging him tight. 

 He chuckled and held you close to him feeling his body get warm and his heart flutter. Being away from you so long he didn't realize how much his body missed you. It had a mind of its own and it wanted you only. He never felt like this when seeing his wife.

 You held onto him then let out a whimper of pain, he heard the sound and put you down worried then watched you crouch down into yourself holding your stomach. He crouched down to your level saying "what's wrong?"

 You shook your head and looked at him with pout. "It hurts kuna. My cramps." He looked at you in disbelief that both you and his wife started it the same time. Thinking you didn't want him around he hummed then said "do you want me to leave."

 "What?! Why would I want you to leave? I hadn't seen you in a week and now you want to leave. No dumb ass, I want you to stay with me. Please, I missed you so much."

 He gulped as you lunged back into his arms telling him to take you back to your room. Sukuna picked you up carrying you to bed and placed you down with a smirk. "So needy, pretty little thing." 

 His wife still never liked him being around when it was that time, she claims it is not attractive and makes her feel gross. You smiled at him but then looked away scrunched your face from the pain. Sukuna wanted to make you feel better. His hand slides over your hip and under your shirt to press it to your stomach and give it a gentle rub. Your eyes opened to look at him, seeing his handsome face and body dressed in his suit, making you smile with so much love for him as you raised a hand to cup his face and ran your thumb tracing his cheek and to graze over his lower lip.

 "I love you my kuna."

 He could feel his heart clench and ache hearing those words sounding so sweet from you. In a tone that he never heard from his wife it always sounds forced from her even till now when she is trying to force it out. 

 "Y/n do you have tea here?" You nodded "yes it's in the kitchen." 

 He pulled his hand from you saying "don't move, stay here I am going to try to fix you." He stood up hearing your giggles and said "kuna I am not broken I am just cramping."

 Sukuna gave you a smile and left your room heading to the kitchen looking through the place finally finding your stash of tea. He rubbed his neck looking through the boxes then froze feeling the necklace still around his neck. "Shit." He quickly took it off and stuffed it into his pocket then went back to find the herbal tea he was looking for.

 After brewing some hot water from your electric kettle he put a bag of chamomile and lavender tea with honey into your cat tea cup. A smirk formed on his face seeing the cup then went back to you. 

 "Here drink this love."

 You sat up as he sat next to you holding your cup carefully handing it over. "Oh you found the ones I usually drink for my cramps. I was too lazy and in pain to move to get them. Luckily I have you to rescue me." You said, giving him a little laugh.

 Hearing your laughs always makes his chest flutter happily, knowing he makes you laugh and happy. Sukuna took off his suit coat laying it on your bed to the side then laid down while waiting for you to drink your tea. You drank most of it and put it down on the table not caring about it any more because you just wanted to be in sukuna's arms after not seeing him for a while.

  He watched you turn to face him and lay down getting cozy under his arm and nuzzling against his chest. It was just silence between the two of you but the love could be felt in your room. His hand soothing your back gently. 

 Maybe your body just wanted him around because the cramps eased up after, probably sensing your man next to you. "Sukuna, I want to tell you something." He gave you a hum, his eyes closed enjoying your comfort.

 "Where have you been? Has work really been draining that much?" 

 He let out a heavy breath of air escape through his nose then pressed a kiss to your forehead.  "Yes work is stressing me out a lot too much over time I can not get a break."

 Your hand rubbed across his chest and led to his back rubbing him softly. "That sucks. I am sorry if I have been really annoying lately in wanting to see you all the time. I feel like a burden to you. Because you have your own life but I want to be part of it. Because I love you. And I am just worried that…you would not want me because I am too attached to you. I am sorry…kuna".

 He could hear your voice croak and sniffles coming from you and he instantly felt his heart tear. He moved and softly rubbed your cheek making you look at him. 

 "No beautiful, do not say those things about yourself. I am happy with you. I love you with all my heart. It's me that feels like I don't not deserve you and I really don't. You have shown me what it is like to be in love to have a normal relationship. I appreciate you and everything you do for me. I don't want anyone else besides you."

 A whimper escaped you as you nuzzled your face against his neck holding him tight. "Ryomen I love you more than my heart can handle."

 Sukuna spills more and more confessions to you everytime he is with you because you make his heart feel what he really wants. His wife is already to far gone from him to want her back. He needs and wants you.

 "Kuna, I got you a gift." He hummed curiously watching you move and turn to get into a drawer on your bedside table then pulled out a little black box with pink ribbon. "Here open it."

 Sukuna sat up holding the box smiling at the colors you chose and began to unwrap the box. You held your hands together playing with your fingers feeling butterflies in your stomach worried if he was not going to like it.

 He pulled off the top of the box seeing the bracelet inside and took it out to see the gold tiger charm. 

 "I know it's not much but I thought of you when I saw it and I wanted to get you something." 

 He smiled and pulled you saying "c'mere. I love it darling". You smiled and hugged him as he kissed your cheek. "Do you want me to put it on?"

 "Of course, I need to see if it's going to fit." Sukuna chuckled and took the bracelet to slip it over his wrist and pulled the little ropes tightening it. He lifted his arm to you saying "how does it look?"

 You smiled and held his hand turning his wrist to look at it against his skin. "Its perfect on you kuna." As sukuna laid down holding your body close to him he felt worse for even having to take off any of the gifts. He knows you be more upset if he stopped wearing the bracelet and ask questions. He will just have to tell his wife that it was a gift from one of the men during the conference meeting.

 When the time passed sukuna woke up from a nap then looked at you. You were still by his side and in his arms he noticed you were asleep. He tried to wake you but you were passed out sound asleep. He smiled and gave a  long kiss to your cheek and pulled away whispering 'I love you beautiful.' Sukuna grabbed his coat then left a note by your pillow telling you he had to leave and he loves you more.

 By the time you woke up it was dark outside and sukuna was not beside you leaving you with a sad expression and whimpered when you saw the note he left. You placed the note in your drawer and held the pillow he was laying on, getting a smell of his scent that comforted you. 

 You couldn't come up with the courage to tell him how you feel about him. How much you needed him beside you every night. How your heart yearns for him. You had many thoughts wanting to be his wife. But you are always too scared to tell him because of the fear he would not want that. So you kept them aside.

 You texted him that night to see if he was alright but you got no response and that was because sukuna was on the couch cuddling his wife making her giggle. Kissing her neck gave light bites to her ear as he poked her side. 

 Sukuna is playing with two women he knows it's wrong and he has to choose but not knowing what part of his life he wants. 

 Sukuna again didn't come to see you and only texted you for a few days leaving you alone with no response. You laid in bed hugging your pillow wondering what you did wrong. He became so distant lately. Tears filled your eyes and hid your face away from everything.

 He finally saw the messages seeing  you desperately trying to talk to him and saw the last message.

 'Fine I guess I will leave you alone. If you don't want me any more then tell me. You don't have to keep ignoring me.'

 "Fuck." He tossed his phone onto the passenger seat of his car gripping the steering wheel. He didn't know he could be so caught up in this life. He is ryomen sukuna ceo of his company and he is letting some little woman like you control his life usually that will piss him off.

 But deep down he liked it because he loves you. Being with you all this time always weighed his heart to you and he can not think of anyone else to be with besides you.

 He took out his phone calling the one person he could talk to about anything. 

 "Hey satoru we need to talk, meet me at the ramen shop I like. Thank you. See you there." 

 Sukuna drove off feeling his nerves rise, when he got there he let out a sigh and texted his wife saying he has a meeting outside the office to go to and will be home late. 

 Sukuna walked into the restaurant, seeing satoru's hand raise up calling out to him. He sighed and walked over taking a seat and already saw a drink in front of him. "Is this alcohol?"

 "Why would I do that if I know you are driving? So what dirty secrets do you want to tell me?" 

 Gojo leaned over the table resting his chin onto the palms of his hands. As sukuna cleared his throat to say, "so this talk is only between me and you also nanami if you want to fill him in." Gojo took a drink of his tea and looked to sukuna waiting.

"I am in love with another woman." 

 "No shit". Gojo said with a smile as he pulled down his sunglasses to look at his pink haired friend. Sukuna growled and looked at his drink. "Can I speak fully before  interrupting me with stupid remarks?" Sukuna then glared at him to make sure he understood, seeing gojo flick his hand to continue the talk. 

 "I met this little woman after I had gotten into a fight with the wife, she came home with hickies on her neck and told me it was no big deal. Stating she knows I cheat. I had enough of it so I left to get a break from her staying at my house. Then when I went walking to get chicken wraps I crashed into this woman."

 Satoru chuckled saying "you could have killed her with that body of yours." "Shut up!" Sukuna snarled lowly at him then continued.

 "I saw how cute and shy she was so I thought maybe I could get her into bed with my charm. But she didn't fall for it like most women do. So I made it my mission to try to get with her. The more I was with her the more I wanted a life with her. There is a lot more in detail of why but I won't get into it if you are smart enough to know."

 He looked down and rubbed his face feeling stressed.

 "When I got forced into this marriage I was fine and happy with it. Getting to fuck this beautiful woman that I was tied with not having to worry about anything else. Now being older I see the way two people in love looked at eachother and it was not the same look my wife gives to me. I want to have that life with a woman to go home and relax with her and have her wash away my stress and not give me stress. The woman I could finally experience romance with and have a family."

 Satoru had already seen how his friend had been acting lately. He wasn't so grumpy all the time and he has a different energy. Sukuna looked at gojo then pulled out his phone to show him a picture of you. The white haired man smiled, saying "she is cute." 

"Satoru, she showed me what it's like to be in true love. Everything about her is amazing, she is beautiful, sweet, cute, lovely." 

 "What about the sex?" Satoru asked as sukuna smirked and leaned back in his seat. "This little woman is sexy. She drives me crazy. She makes my heart flutter, swell and twist with passion. The sex feels amazing, let's just say I fit perfectly inside her."

 Sukuna leaned back over the table to say in a low tone "I love the way she tightens around my cock every time I bring her to pure bliss."

 Satoru shook his head with a smirk and said "you never change with those words ryomen."

 Sukuna leaned away again and looked at his tea. "Fuck satoru I don't know what to do? Now my wife comes back after this trip stating that she did not cheat on me and now she wants kids with me and is acting differently."

 Gojo hummed while taking a drink then looked at sukuna being serious. 

"You know this is a serious matter, this affair can be big trouble for the company."

"You think I don't know that". Sukuna growled out.

"Well what are you going to do?"

 Sukuna sighed and rubbed his face. "Gojo this is why I called you here to help me with this. I know I need to stay for the company but y/n is what I deeply want. I fell out of love with yami. And being with her doesn't feel right. Is it because I am guilty? Man, I sound pathetic talking about this."

 Gojo let out a laugh then said "that is a good thing you are having feelings it means you are human and not a demon like others say." Sukuna smirked saying "thanks I guess but that doesn't help."

 His friend smiled and pulled down his glasses to say "look ryomen just do what you want to do. I know that is what you do best. Whatever you choose I am still here for you. But I will say that little y/n girl she does do something to you that I can see. You look more alive with her."

 Sukuna had left the little talk with gojo and went straight to your place, parking outside the building and staring at your door. Debating if he should should just go home after all. But his heart string was pulling him to you. 

 He made his decision when he got out of his car and to your door and gave it a hard knock so you would hear him. He looked at his wrist smiling at the bracelet you gifted him. His wife did question it but she didn't bother with it after he told her it was a gift from a meeting.

 You heard a knock at your door thinking it was your friendly neighbor trying to bring cookies again. You opened it with a smile then froze in shock to see sukuna giving a soft smile. "Hey darling."

 You crossed your arms, giving him an unamused look. "What do you want? I am upset with you. You ignore me for days, then you just show up thinking everything is fine." Sukuna gulped and rubbed his neck saying "I am sorry."

 "You never want to talk to me kuna. I want you to talk to me about your life. What are you feeling? Tell me about your day. Tell me about what is bothering you. Even if it's stupid just talk to me please." He could see your eyes glaze over with tears, he hates to see you cry.

 "No no please don't cry I am sorry. I am dealing with so much bull shit at work. I lose track of time and I am too tired. My ex is bugging me again." He quickly stopped talking from over saying things. 

 "Is that why you are ignoring me? Your ex wife is talking to you again. So you ignore me to have your attention on her. Are you cheating on me?"

 You stepped away not wanting to say that and not wanting to know if it's true.

 Sukuna walked inside pushing passed the door then closed it behind him locking it. "No beautiful I am not cheating on you trust me. Please. I love you." Why was it so easy for him to lie to you?

 You didn't say a word just looking at him annoyed with yourself and him, not knowing what else to say to sukuna. He gulped and said "please say something." "Why?" 

"Because I love you."

You looked away saying "do you?"

 Sukuna felt a sting in his heart. Fine if you think he doesn't then he will just have to show you. With the thing you love to have over and over again. He walked closer to you and grabbed your face then smashed his lips to yours. 

 You wanted to be mad at him but you couldn't stay mad not with his intoxicating lips trying to devour you when you opened your mouth letting his tongue pass through across your lips. You let out a desperate moan into his mouth. 

 Sukuna then grabbed your hips pulling you flush against him and quickly pulled his lips away only to latch them to your neck. You tilted your head back letting him attack your neck with love bites marking you. "Ryomen.." You love the way they feel against your skin. He makes you melt every time.

 "I am sorry for staying away from you because of work. But I can't stop thinking of you and having you in every way." He told you and went to squeeze your ass hearing a gasp coming from you. "Kuna hold on." He froze and pulled his hands away to watch you pull off your clothing just leaving you in underwear as he let out a growl mixed with a groan.

 Sukuna attacked you again with his hands and lips. You moaned letting him have full access to your neck then he started taking off his jacket and shirt leaving everything on the floor. Just seeing his bare chest and abs covered with his black markings on full display his pants hanging low around his hips. 

 "Sukuna takes me to the room." You jumped into his arms as he carried you to the bedroom and kicked your door closed then pressed your back against the door with your legs wrapped around his hips. 

 Sukuna continued to lick and softly suck your neck while grinding himself against you, his lips trail over your collar bone going down to your breast taking a nipple into his mouth. You could feel his tongue swirl around your peaked nub giving attention to the other breast. Moans escaped from you while arching your back wanting to be flush against his skin.

 The feeling of his hard length ready to break through with every push against you. Your hand ran through his hair lightly pulling on it. "Sukuna take me please I need you in me." He gave you a light bite to your neck then pulled you away from the door to take you into the bed and dropped you in it. Feeling your back lay across your blankets, you looked at him. He could see your cheeks tinted pink and breast perked.

 "Fuck your sexy baby." You shudder at his word as it sends a tingle through your body hearing that deep tone of his lustful voice. Sukuna took off his pants as you looked away sliding off your panties and spread your legs for him. He chuckled with a proud smirk while removing his underwear then grabbed his shaft pumping himself while getting onto the bed again. Your eyes drifted to him seeing his thick cock in his hand while you bit your lip. 

 "Be a good girl yea and play with yourself." He heard a whimper from you and watched your hand trail down your body and settled between your legs. 

 His eyes were on you, watching you rub circles over your clit then plunge a finger into yourself then back to your clit. Your hips bucked a little with soft moans leaving you but you ached for something more. 

 Sukuna licked his lips, jerking himself squeezing his cock with a groan. "Yea that's it, good girl. You are such a good girl that maybe I should reward you with this yea?" 

 You stopped pulling your hand away and looked to see him stroking himself then nuzzled his hips between your legs. 

"Sukuna, yes please. Just fuck me already".

"As you wish my love." 

 He gave you a smug smirk then pressed his tip to your entrance as he  braced himself with his hands leaning over the top of you. His eyes locked on yours, you could see the lust mixed with love through his eyes. As he pushed all the way in as you moaned feeling him stretch you to the thickness of him. 

 Sukuna already began to thrust his hips going deep into you. He went slow at first to build that high you love so much. Your hand roamed his chest and shoulders then found their way into his hair as he leaned forward to capture your lips in a deep loving kiss. Your legs squeezed around him then nudged him to talk. 

 "Kuna go faster and harder. I want you to fuck me." He grunted with satisfaction then raised up to grab your wrist and held them above your head while he slowly rocked into you.

 You never saw this side of him before seeing him be so dominant but caring at the same time it turned you on so much. He could feel you pulse around him from this new action making him smirk. "Oh you like this darling? Want me to go faster and harder?"

 You gave him a nod with a response "yes more kuna." He let go of your wrist and gripped your legs to hike then higher over him folding you. 

 With every hard and faster thrust of his cock pressing against that good spot bringing you closer to your release. Moans of his name spilled from you hearing his deep moans and hot breath against the skin of your neck. Your hands tried to grip every part of his body holding onto his neck and the other around his shoulder. This man is everything to you and you want nothing else in life besides him.

"Ryomen…ryomen don't stop, keep going." 

 Sukuna's thrust turned into a rut, feeling his cock swell ready to release. With every pound of his hips you heard your bed creak. Moans and heavy breathing filled your room. Your nails started to dig into his back feeling the knot twist inside you. Sukuna looked at you, his eyes half lidded and leaned up to get a deeper thrust letting his body take control.

 Staring into his eyes feeling so close and the tears formed, glossing your eyes from all the emotion. "Sukuna..s..sukuna." you called out to him as he did the same.

"Beautiful..love."

 Finally feeling that snap of pure bliss you threw your head back scraping your nails across his skin on his back pulling him closer to you. "Ryomen! Sukuna!..ahh sukuna!"

 You yelled his name creaming around his cock making it easier for him to slide all the way deep with the last few pounds he moaned deeply and louder than before slamming his hips against you and poured his thick milky seed into your womb. Sukuna pushed so far and gripped the blanket under you groaning your name. He hoped to breed with you for how deep he knows his seed went inside you, he wants a life with you.

 He carefully laid on top of you,still feeling himself pulse inside you and breathed heavily in sync with your breathing. Your arms wrapped around his neck keeping him close to you not wanting to let go. 

 Hearing your heart thump loud against your chest. As Sukuna slowly pulled out, you let out a breath of air feeling the pressure of his cock leave you and already missing the feeling of him. But he kept his face nuzzled in your neck and his arms snaked around your body.

 You didn't care about the pressure of his body resting on you weighing you down. You love him to stay close to you. Your hands went into his hair softly stroking his pink locks as the other drifted to his back to rub him. All your emotions started to hit you as tears filled your eyes.

 Sukuna felt you breath hard then heard you whimper and squeezed around him with more soft whimpers and sniffles. "Why are you crying beautiful." 

 You buried your face into his neck letting cuddling into his arms and held onto him, he could feel the hot tears against his chest escaping from your eyes. 

 "Ryomen all I want is you. I don't care about anything else in my life except for you. I want to be with you for as long as I live. You make me happy. You make me feel loved. Your arms are warm, and safe. I love to be in them. And I don't want to lose you. I am sorry if I upset you somehow. But fuck ryomen sukuna I love you. You are my home and my heart. You mean the world to me. I..I love you."

 Sukuna's heart broke and for the first time he wanted to cry because you are all he wants and he is going to lose you fast if he doesn't do something about it.

 His mind is finally set on the next step. After tonight when he goes back he needs to divorce and get you in his life. But that would mean he needs to tell you the truth

 "Y/n would you want to marry me? Am I good enough?"

 You moved back slightly to look at him in shock saying "what do you mean? Of course you are good enough I will marry you in a heartbeat. Why?"

 He smiled and pulled you back against his chest saying "just thinking. Let's get some sleep, love you wore me out."

 You giggled kissing his chest then leaned up out of his arms to grab an extra blanket to put over him and you. "Goodnight kuna I love you." He smiled, saying "love you more sweet dreams beautiful." In an instant with the comfort in each other's arms, sleep took you both quickly.

 His wife looked at the time seeing it was way past midnight and she was still up waiting for sukuna to get home. She scoffed and walked into the room. "This fucking stops now. He belongs to me." 

 She picked up her phone calling someone waiting for them to answer and when they did she smiled wickedly.

 "Hello I need a favor. Yes, to track something. Can you find where this number is located?" She gave the person sukuna's phone number and said "send me the address when you find it please and thank you. You will be getting a payment for being so helpful, thank you." 

 About a few minutes later she got a notification on her phone and smiled wide seeing the info. "Sukuna say goodbye to your little slut." 

oh what is this woman planning?! Things are about to go down. Sukuna just made his final moves in his mind to be with you.

Thank you for reading!

[aleksanderscult]

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (book) - Part 5

(Part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4)

(TW: self-harm!, suicide!)

Did you think I had forgotten about this meta?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

I was just dealing with a small health issue and before that I didn't have the motivation.

But now my meta-analyzing-self has returned with the fifth and last part of the book.

This is the passage from the book that actually made me think "What if Aleksander himself started sleeping less and less as an adult?". He "adopted" so many things from Baghra. It's possible that he did this too. Sleeping very few hours at night and always ready to leap at the first sign of danger.

Also, not Eryk not wanting to get smacked from his mom if she catches him. 😭

“It’s not enough.” His voice made me jump. The Darkling emerged from the shadows onto the lamplit path.

He really can startle people with his silent movements.

And the fact that he has been trained by hunters!

So he has learned from hunters, seers, Kings, Saints. Through all these four hundred years he gained an enormous amount of knowledge. (I would honestly sit and listen to his experiences for free)

HE'S TOO CUTE I JUST--

He really preferred to get interrogated by his mother for his wet clothes than get naked in front of a girl. 😭🫶

We went from this "He felt too shy to remove everything."

To this "His hand slid down to my hip. I felt a little trill of panic as my skirt slid higher and his fingers closed on my bare thigh."

They grow up so fast. 🥹🥹

It's that beautiful realization that he acts like a kid that makes me happy. All giggling and smiling while playing and swimming. This is the life he was supposed to live and he knows it.

He's so happy and hopeful that he starts making plans! 😭

He just wants to stay somewhere.

The Darkling never hated the otkazat'sya. It wasn't hate he felt but (overtime) he just only came to know their nature.

Eryk really liked Sylvi and thought her a good company to have her around.

He was aware of the way men looked at his mother.

I'm sorry but I find this line kind of awkward. It may only be just me. But little Aleksander seeing men giving lustful looks to Baghra is a little awkward. Like, man, not in front of her son. 😭

It was one more weapon in her arsenal.

Actually an anon once sent me an ask saying that the Darkling was promiscuous on his earlier days out of his need for touch and to gain information.

At that time I said that I doubted it since he had other means to gain information (through his spies, his natural charisma etc.) but @stromuprisahat discussed this in the comments and now I agree with her that Aleksander would sleep with someone to gain information. And, in the end, it was this line that fully convinced me. Just like I've said previously, Aleksander mimics his mother in almost everything. He just copies her behavior and patterns. And that's one more pattern that he must have copied. If he didn't have any other choice and was desperate (also it would depend on the person he had in front of him) Aleksander would go in "flirt mode" to get what he wants. Seduction was one weapon out of the hundreds in his arsenal, ready to be used if necessary.

Well hello socially awkward Aleksander.

That might be my hot take for him I think. Aleksander Morozova was actually socially awkward in sensitive matters (this moment right here, revealing to Ulla that they're siblings, his first kiss with Alina).

He was never raised in a stable home, never had healthy friendships and was raised by his mother very strictly and to value power over love. So whatever compassion he had as a person, he had it out of his own character. He was born with it and not nurtured to feel it or have it.

He doesn't know if this question about her mother is appropriate because he normally doesn't have conversations with peers and hasn't learned to.

It's a very sad but true fact about his character.

Eryk: "Thanks mom for nothing I guess".

I don't think people realize how cut off Aleksander was from literally everyone. And it was Baghra that cut him off. Not one single word about his father like she created him by herself or something.

(Now I also remembered how Alina was the only other person Aleksander could bond and be with since she was immortal too but Baghra took that from him as well. That woman really said "You'll have no one but me")

now I'm angry

He really really tries.

I've analyzed this moment a bit here but basically Aleksander was very awkward with others showing a vulnerable side. He isn't used to being close with others since he constantly travels, so here he does his best to comfort Annika as she lays bare her thoughts and feelings. He wants to let her know that her father didn't fail but did his best to protect his remaining family.

Hell nah!! 😭😭

Not my boy being protective over his new friend 😭😭

He only knows her for a few hours and he feels already close to her.

This shatters my heart because he doesn't want to believe the truth. He doesn't want to face it in the beginning. He's like "Oh. Maybe we're playing". He doesn't want to know that his friend has turned against him.

*tears up*

Can you hear me crying in the background? 🙂

He was so ready to protect her against a boy taller and stronger than him. Because they're friends. Friends are supposed to stick together.

*I'm ready to cry*

He's still in denial. 😭

And seeing the difference between this young Aleksander to his older version. The young one being naive, innocent and weak because he lets his emotions get the better of him. While the older one never begged for anything (at least directly), shed that side of him and still died because he still wanted things.

THE STRATEGIC BABY GRISHA IS HERE!!

He cleared his head and started thinking of ways to get out. And what better way of escaping than making Annika and Lev fight each other?

I personally think he said that line for two reasons:

He wanted Lev to know what he is in order to make him come over, break the ice and even stop Annika so he could buy himself some time and escape.

It's very interesting that he said "you won't be able to push her or her sister around anymore". He could have said "When Annika wears my bone she'll be more powerful than you" but he brought up Annika's vulnerable position and that shows that he understands why Annika does this.

But still he won't sit and let her finish the job.

His determination is the one quality that admire in him the most.

Take this moment for example. Someone just hit his head with a rock and he focuses on staying awake and alive. He doesn't allow his own body to take him down.

And here the same thing happens:

He's ready to vomit and pass out but he just forces his body to do more, to escape and survive. He never lets anything deter him from what he wants. And apparently it was Baghra that made him this way too:

She nurtured his strong will and over the years he became a driven, focused and determined person. And it were these qualities that kept him alive all those centuries.

When Alina left him behind on the Fold he survived and kept going.

When Sturmhond left him with a broken ship, a wounded arm and in the middle of nowhere, he survived and kept going.

When Alina betrayed him and brought a building down on his face, he survived, took the throne and rose again.

When his mother committed suicide, he cleared his head and continued his war.

When he came back from the dead, he still continued the march towards his ambition.

Literally nothing could stop him. Even "when he wasn't so sure he wanted to go on" he put his one foot in front of the other and set his eyes towards his dream. Whether that was to provide the Grisha a safe home, or the Ravkans a safe country or himself a companion to have. Or all of it together.

It was enough to make him less a boy than a prize.

A sad existence to live. Especially in your childhood. Your own people seeing you as a trophy to have, to wear and use than a human with a life of his own.

He revealed his gift to Annika when he showed kindness to her and now he pays the price.

His relationship with his mother is one of the most (if not the most) pivotal aspects of his character. Her words and teachings have been implanted deep inside him and can hear her often in his mind (just like he did in RoW).

Did he also hear her voice whenever he was close to dying in his adulthood?

He lashed out of fury, desperation and sadness for everything that happened that day. Just when he thought he had it all, fate came and took them out of his hands along with his hope.

Let me make a mark on this world before I leave it.

He succeeded in that. The Little Palace is the greatest proof and people talked about him long after he was gone (and they'll continue to do so).

As a child he saw how Grisha came and went from this world without "touching" anything. He didn't want the same thing to happen to him. He wanted to make something.

(Also the fact that he dropped that iconic, serious line at the age of thirteen. The Darkling at thirteen "I want to make something grand before I die". Me at thirteen: *watching Shakira clips and failing school like nobody's business* 😭😭)

I don't think most of us understand that Aleksander literally self-harmed himself to survive and save his mother's life as well. Used his own power against him to make sure that they won't be burned alive for what he did.

For the Ulle to be so sure that nothing would happen at their camp makes me think that they were being established successfully there for a long time. But that surety and protection faded because of his own people who are so desperate to gain power in order to survive. It's not a matter of selfishness. I don't see it that way. But it's a matter of survival especially since the Grisha are a group of persecuted people that are hunted down for their powers, feared and shunned.

Whether you believe it or not, I've seen people say that Aleksander didn't regret the fact that he was responsible for the burning of that village.

*screaming in frustration*

So. I'll repeat that it wasn't an act of selfishness but a matter of survival. It's not a black and white situation. If Aleksander had said the truth he would be executed alongside his mother for what he did. And the other Grisha wouldn't hesitate to do it since they already feared Baghra. And what people fear, they destroy.

Aleksander opted to cut his leg deep with his own powers, lose unconsciousness and tell a fake story to save his mother and leave from that settlement in one piece. But he didn't take pleasure from it. He wasn't glad when Lev and Annika died and felt sorry for their parents and their reaction. And now he feels sorry for the burning of the village. He knew they were innocent and he supposed they were going to interrogate them or something. But kill all of them? That he neither expected or wanted.

Look. I think Baghra loved her son. But let's be honest. If he wasn't so powerful, if he wasn't immortal he would cast him away the same way she did with his siblings. Sooo....yeah. It's a toxic kind of love. She loves him for what he can offer her (companionship mostly) so it's not an unconditional love. She mostly wanted to keep him safe because, if he died, she would be left with no one.

Bardugo in a podcast called her "a horrible, horrible mother" and she is. But I still find her a fascinating character that I can't get enough of for some reason. I don't like her but I find her interesting.

Honestly, me neither. Annika was not my favorite character in this story but I don't hate her for trying to kill him. She wanted to protect her family and their position in the camp. It's a bleak world for the Grisha and they have to "eat" each other to survive.

Aleksander really said: "I will make my people matter. I'll make them touch this world and make themselves known. We will be seen".

All the Grisha characters that were trained in the Little Palace owe their reputation to the Darkling. Alina would never know who she was and, even if she did, she would waste because she would be unable to use her powers without someone to guide her. Zoya would never achieve that reputation.

Grisha would just continue to live in caves and hidden establishments. Afraid to go out and show their powers to strangers.

By S&B the Grisha were still despised but there was a minority that held them in awe. But that did nothing to change the situation. Now they are seen but used by the Crown. It was the only place they could have in the kingdom.

It rose from the trees surrounding it like something carved from an enchanted forest, a cluster of dark wood walls and golden domes. As we drew closer, I saw that every inch of it was covered in intricate carvings of birds and flowers, twisting vines, and magical beasts.

“Welcome to the Little Palace,” said the Darkling.

He did it. The crazy son of a bitch did it. 🥹🥹

He managed to create a safe home for them. Made sure for them to be surrounded by other people like them, sitting in front of a warm hearth, in unity not in conflict with each other. Somewhere to rest their heads under the gorgeous carvings of vines and birds. A place to practice their powers freely and eat luxuriously. Somewhere to come back to, like all of us do when we want to go home. Somewhere to belong and somewhere to stay.

(fuck you Tolya for what you said in that duology. Fuck you and everyone who talks shit about Aleksander's greatest accomplishment)

That was the end of the book and I absolutely loved that story. I need 20 more novellas like this from the perspective of the Darkling from his earlier adventures. I'll analyze the Graphic Novel next.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Season 2 Chapter 54 Translation (Lucien's Route - Part 1)

⚠️  SPOILER ALERT  ⚠️

This post contains a VERY HEAVY SPOILER for the chapter that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

"Speaking of which, if there's a beautiful dream, would you like to stay in it with me?"

"A beautiful dream? Is it the kind where I don't have to go to work every day?"

"More beautiful than that—it's a dream where we can always be by each other's side."

Translation under the cut!

Previous Lucien’s chapter -> [Here]

[Background Info]

Please read Lucien's previous chapter first before this chapter jnsnjsdjd. Lucien might feel OOC if you don't.

Long story short, although the world already diverted from its original path of heading toward destruction caused by a comet, now the world is ascending to the fourth dimension and the rifts are the manifestation of it. The boys' each route is basically how they deal with it.

About me dividing it into parts- the S2 Chapter 54 is FULLY translated and released at once. Just for fun, I divided it like this so you can also choose and get bad endings just like in-game~

[Chapter 54-1]

In the office, I occasionally hear birds chirping outside as if they are singing in celebration of the arrival of a new day.

I type the last Enter key in the document, click the save button in the top left corner, and take a deep breath.

A client I've been pursuing for a long time finally showed interest in collaboration yesterday. However, they also presented additional requirements, requesting a draft proposal by noon today.

I'm working overtime with my colleagues, and we've finally put together a decent draft.

I asked Anna to send the document to the client's contact person and I massaged my sore shoulder.

Beside me, Kiki suddenly leans over and shakes her phone.

Kiki: Boss, I just discovered a hidden gem of a beverage shop! I heard their best-selling hot chocolate is especially delicious. Do you want to order takeout together?

MC: Sure, send me the link to check it out~

I open the store page, and the cover features promotional image of their best-selling drink. However, the packaging looks a bit familiar.

=Flashback Start=

Lucien: On the way to your company just now, I happened to come across a newly opened beverage shop.

Lucien: The staff recommended this "Orange Hot Chocolate", and I thought it might be to your liking. Do you want to give it a try?

He hands a steaming paper cup into my hand and passes on his warm scent with it.

MC: Wow- it's delicious! It has the refreshing fragrance of oranges and is quite sweet. But I can't keep something this good all to myself~

I raise the paper cup and bring it to him, Lucien bends his eyes to a smile and lowers his head. His hair gently falls amidst the dense steam and----

=Flashback Ends=

The sweet warmth from the memory gradually surfaces at the corner of my lips, and I shake my phone at Kiki.

MC: I'll pass for now; I suddenly remembered I have something to do and need to step out for a bit. Go ahead and order; it's on me!

As I speak, I walk towards the exit and pick up my phone to send a message to that person in my heart.

MC: "Professor Lucien, are you still in? I'll come over now to see you~"

Lucien quickly replied with two voice messages, accompanied by a sticker of a little fox looking dizzy while doing experiments.

Lucien: I just finished a task, now I'm pondering on how to capture a photo of the scenery outside the window that hints I miss you a bit.

Lucien: But I'm happy because you'll get to see it in person soon.

I reply to him with a smile while briskly walking in the direction of the beverage shop. I can't help but feel that this year's winter isn't as cold as it seems.

MC: Hello, give me two cups of "Orange Hot Chocolate," please.

Clerk: I'm sorry, but we just ran out of the ingredients for that beverage this morning. Can I offer you a different flavor instead?

MC: ...Oh, okay.

Feeling a bit disappointed, I point to the "Rich Winter Hot Chocolate" on the side of the menu.

MC: I'll go with this one.

The clerk starts preparing the drinks and hands me the two cups after a moment.

Clerk: Please be mindful of the cup's rim, it's hot.

MC: Okay, thank you.

I instinctively reach out, my gaze still fixed on the phone screen. With a muffled sound and liquid splashing in my peripheral vision, I abruptly snap back to reality.

MC: ...Oops!

I frantically try to catch the fallen cups, but it's too late.

The newly changed shirt takes the brunt of it, and the little mochi* beside me isn't spared either, now adorned with unsightly brown stains.

[T/N: The little mochi is a keychain that Lucien gave to MC in the last chapter]

MC: …..

Frustration and speechlessness well up within me. I impatiently grab tissues to wipe it, but the effect is minimal.

So, I quickly ran to the restroom, wetting the stained areas with water. Despite my persistent efforts, hot water successfully turned a few drops of chocolate stains into a large light brown patch.

Looking at my disheveled reflection in the mirror, I take a deep breath.

Forget it, who cares! Lucien won't mind anyway. Thinking so, I hastily walk out, only to be tripped suddenly—

I manage to grab onto the wall, preventing the third mishap of the day.

MC: ….

Why does it feel like I've been a bit unlucky since leaving the office...

Suppressing my dismay, I push open the shop door, and the cold wind hits me as the wet clothes turn stiff.

Without thinking, I quicken my pace. Let's just walk faster, get there a bit sooner, and see the person who can soothe all my irritations.

Fortunately, the way to the Bioscience Research Institute is smooth.

The elevator carries me up, and when the door opens, a somewhat familiar voice reaches my ears.

??: ...So, you want to activate it again.

It's Cyril's voice... How could he be here? I freeze when I see Lucien standing in the corridor not far away from Cyril.

Lucien: This is a necessary step to obtain the results.

Cyril: May we both achieve the worlds we each desire.

Cyril says this as he walks past Lucien towards the direction of the elevator. When our eyes meet, his cold gaze blinks, seemingly surprised.

Cyril: Didn't expect to see you here.

MC: ...Shouldn't I be saying that?

I can't help but make a sarcastic remark, but Cyril doesn't answer my question. Instead, he takes another step in my direction and speaks calmly.

Cyril: Have you made a decision about the matter I asked you last time?

Our conversation in the jewelry store flashes through my mind. I look into his clear eyes and shake my head.

MC: I still need time to consider.

MC: After all, the world in the dream is false. If there's another solution, I don't want to choose this method.

Cyril nods, his expression as calm as ever.

Cyril: I understand.

Cyril: But if you delay further, you might fall behind.

Fall behind... what does he mean?

I'm slightly taken aback. Before I can ask, Cyril has naturally walked past me.

His slender figure, accompanied by unhurried footsteps, quickly disappears into the elevator.

MC: Why does he never make things clear...

I glance back from Cyril's departing figure, and when I look up, I see Lucien walking towards me.

His gaze inevitably falls on the large stain on my clothes, then slowly moves to my face.

I thought he might ask what happened or say something comforting, but he just smiles lightly and speaks.

Lucien: I smell the scent of hot chocolate, but it's different from the previous one.

I blink in surprise. It’s as if the earlier worries have suddenly dissipated and I take a step closer to him.

MC: It's the Rich Winter Hot Chocolate~ from the same shop as the "Orange Hot Chocolate" you brought last time.

I open the bag, watching as Lucien takes out one cup and uses his other hand to push open the office door.

Meanwhile, a researcher comes out from behind the door. As they pass each other, Lucien's hand holding the cup inadvertently shakes a little.

The cup tilts ever so slightly, and a few drops of hot chocolate splash onto his cuff.

Lucien: Hmm... This is troublesome.

He walks into the office and fixes the glasses on the bridge of his nose in a slightly distressed manner.

Lucien: I'm not very good at dealing with these stains. Can you help me think of a solution?

He says it quite seriously as if facing a challenging problem. I can't help but laugh, feeling a softness in my heart.

The little thoughts I keep to myself never need to be explicitly stated; this person always understands them.

MC: Of course. But I just learned from personal experience that you shouldn't use hot water.

MC: Unexpectedly, both Professor Lucien and I are getting a bit of chocolate "favor" today.

Lucien: Hearing MC say that makes this small trouble seem kind of cute.

We exchange smiles, and he raises the cup, gently tapping it against the one in my hand.

Lucien: So, before dealing with it, let's toast to these cute little troubles today.

-

[Chapter 54-3]

Following Lucien's footsteps, we enter the laboratory deep in the corridor. Unlike the usual laboratories filled with the smell of disinfectant, the air here is surprisingly fresh.

Lucien skillfully takes several bottles of reagents from the shelf and places them on the table.

Lucien: If you want to deal with stubborn hot chocolate stains, there are actually many methods.

Lucien: The reagents in front of us can all address our current predicament at a molecular level.

MC: But using them to clean up little chocolate spills, wouldn't that be a bit wasteful?

Lucien: How about considering it as conducting a fun little chemistry experiment?

His words create a cascade of ripples in my heart, and I can't help but laugh, pretending to roll up my sleeves and stand up straight.

MC: Well then, Professor, please give me instructions~

The transparent bottles and jars in the laboratory reflect the cold light from the overhead lamp.

Under Lucien's guidance, I pour the reagents into the beaker, submerging the little mochi treated as the "experimental subject".

Its originally dull fluff becomes damp, and soon, a faint color begins to emerge.

MC: It works quickly!

Lucien: After all, it hasn't been stained for a long time. As long as we target the lipid-soluble pigments appropriately, solving it is not difficult.

After confirming the results, we also took care of the clothes stained with the hot chocolate spills.

I inadvertently turn my head and see a few scattered experiment documents on the nearby table.

MC: "The possibility of transferring perception through neural links"... Is this your recent research direction?

Lucien's gaze sweeps over the proposal, placing the stirring rod on the dark rubber tabletop.

Lucien: It's... a kind of unexpected gain.

Lucien: In a recent neuroscience experiment, we discovered a similar phenomenon, but it has been temporarily set aside for now.

My gaze lingers on the obscure experiment documents for a moment, then turns to Lucien's composed face.

Thinking about my recent overwhelming matters, I can't help but let out a "sob".

MC: Darn it, how come I don't have a brain that can multitask problems like yours...

I mutter wearily, and Lucien immediately strokes my head.

Lucien: (chuckle) It seems there is indeed a challenging problem troubling our Great Producer.

MC: Absolutely, a super-sized problem!

MC: I need to absorb some of Professor Lucien's intelligence energy to make my thoughts clearer too.

I rest my head on his shoulder, rubbing against it, and hear a soft laugh by my ear.

Lucien turns towards me, pulling me into his embrace.

Lucien: If that's the case, then you can absorb a bit more.

I "hmm" in agreement, and after a moment, I lift my head, looking at Lucien with a feigned look of grievance.

MC: Professor Lucien is so cooperative; he doesn't think I'm silly, does he?

Lucien is slightly surprised. He places a hand on his lips, his voice carrying a clear sense of amusement.

Lucien: Miss Producer, if you think like that, you're unfairly judging me.

Lucien: What I meant is, there's still a troublesome future waiting for us.

I lock eyes with Lucien for a moment, only then realizing he's referring to the troubles we faced in the rift before.

Being captured in the glass chamber in NW, the chaotic escape during the pursuit... scenes after scenes flash before my eyes.

After a moment of silence, I let out a deep sigh.

MC: Oh no, let's just not talk about this for now. Let me be an ostrich a little longer...

MC: Dealing with the troubles at hand is already more than enough for me to handle.

I suddenly pause in my words, realizing something.

MC: Lucien, what if there are other troubles in the world at that time point? Would NW not have the time to deal with me?

Lucien: For example?

MC: For example... I recently saw a terrifying vision.

MC: Our world will face countless disasters in the future, and everyone's lives will be in ruins.

Thinking about those devastating scenes, my voice unintentionally carries a hint of gravity.

Lucien: Is this what has been troubling you these days?

I nod with a hint of distress.

MC: I really want to find a solution, but I have no clue where to start.

MC: How could these disasters suddenly happen out of nowhere? I always feel like there's a missing key link in the middle.

The steady breath falls by my ears, Lucien seems to be thinking seriously, and after a moment, he speaks.

Lucien: Perhaps I can help you find that link.

I instinctively look up, inquiring with a hint of surprise.

MC: Do you already have an idea so quickly?

Lucien: Because the question you mentioned aligns perfectly with my previous hypothesis.

Lucien: Let's go, I'll take you to the laboratory.

The quiet corridor echoes with our footsteps. After turning several corners, we arrive at the entrance of a hidden laboratory.

Lucien raises his hand and enters something on the keyboard on the wall. Accompanied by a series of beeps, the massive door slowly opens before us.

After passing through several rows of intricate instruments, a wall of glass comes into view, enclosing a white, sealed space.

A rift silently stretches across a corner, its edges faintly shimmering. I observe for a moment, then hesitantly speak.

MC: Why do I feel like the shape of this rift is somewhat familiar?

Lucien: Because a few months ago*, we used it to enter NW.

[T/N: refer to what happened in the previous chapter]

MC: It's been so long, and it hasn't closed yet?

I murmur in surprise, but thinking about the recent influx of submissions regarding the prolonged duration of the rift, I decide not to inquire further.

Just out of curiosity, I turn my head and look at Lucien beside me.

MC: Is there a specific reason it was deliberately moved here?

Lucien: No, it just has an unusually long duration, no different from other regular rifts.

MC: So, do I need to do anything? Should I use CORE to close it like before?

With my previous experience, this doesn't seem like a challenging issue for me. However, Lucien shakes his head.

He then picks up a small glass orb-shaped device from the lab bench.

Lucien: This time, our goal is not elimination but addition.

MC: Addition? It can't be as simple as figuring out 1 + 1 equals 2 to find the crucial link, can it?

I blink with a bit of confusion, but Lucien doesn't seem inclined to provide further explanation, a mysterious smile playing on his lips.

Seeing him deliberately keeping me in suspense, I clear my throat and pout, then take the device from his palm.

MC: Alright, I'll listen to your explanation later~

I exhale deeply, invoking that familiar power within me once again.

The device in my hand trembles slightly. I lift my head seemingly in response. I look expectantly at the rift behind the glass.

The next moment, it suddenly enlarges before my eyes.

-

[Chapter 54-5]

The rift expands without any warning, like a wound suddenly torn open, stretching out before me and Lucien.

I pause for a moment, unable to help but softly exclaim, "Wow," swiftly turning my head to look at Lucien.

MC: Lucien, its area expanded so much in just an instant!

Lucien: Well, it seems our "addition" has worked.

Lucien: With this, perhaps the link you're looking for will soon appear.

As Lucien speaks, his inky eyes slightly narrow, there's a hint of cunning in his voice.

I lock eyes with him for a moment, unrelentingly leaning closer to him.

MC: No more teasing! What's the connection between this experiment and the "critical link"?

Lucien takes the instrument from my hand and places it back on the lab table, looking at me with an unhurried look.

Lucien: This experiment shows that the impact of CORE on the rift is actually bidirectional.

Lucien: Apart from closing, it can also trigger the expansion of the rift.

I contemplate his words for a moment, then ask with a hint of confusion.

MC: But what happens after the rift expands?

Lucien: The change in area is just the most apparent manifestation. In reality, the energy within the rift is also expanding.

Lucien: Once it surpasses a certain critical point, it spontaneously seeks a more suitable "outlet", no longer manifesting catastrophically.

Lucien: This way, the situation you're concerned about won't occur.

[T/N: Not gonna lie, I'm not sure how to explain this one except that it's similar to how the stars turn into a supergiant and then white dwarf once it runs out of fuel lol. Or once the rift is big enough it'll let go of the energy less chaotically. Anyway, it's just sci-fi don't think about it too deeply]

The question that had troubled me for a long time was resolved so casually. I blink my eyes, feeling a bit surreal.

MC: ...Is it really that simple?

Lucien: The essence of this issue is not as complicated as it may seem.

Lucien: But if the lady wishes for a more convoluted approach, I can certainly give it a try.

MC: No need! I trust Professor Lucien's discovery, of course~

The heavy gloom that shrouded my heart finally reveals a glimmer of hope. My tone lightens involuntarily, and with a touch of anticipation, I speak.

MC: What do we need to do next? I'll do everything I can to help~

Lucien's gaze shifts to the window, seemingly lost in thought for a moment. He changes out of his research attire and opens his mouth with a light smile.

Lucien: I do have an invitation.

Lucien: Next, let's go and see the snow.

After a simple drying process, I hold the small mochi keychain that has regained its fluffiness and whiteness. I follow Lucien down the stairs with light steps. As we step out of the Bioscience Research Institute, I blink in surprise.

Countless delicate snowflakes silently dance in the air—this year's first snow has arrived so quietly.

The snowflakes gently blanket everything around in pristine white.

I can't help but raise my hand, catching a few falling snowflakes. Lucien looks at me, and his eyes seem to soften a bit.

Lucien: You look particularly happy.

MC: Of course~ I've been looking forward to a scene like this for a very long time.

MC: This time last year, I was running around in a time loop, searching for dark matter...

MC: There was never enough time, and I never had the mood to stop and appreciate this scenery.

MC: Until spring arrived, we never had the chance to quietly watch the snow together.

He tightens his grip on my hand. Lucien seems to follow my lead, tilting his head upward, quietly gazing in the direction of the falling snow.

A few delicate snowflakes land on his eyelashes, softly melting away without a sound.

Through the warm night, I hear his gentle voice.

Lucien: (softly) Perhaps… this belated snowfall is a gift for us now.

The fine snowflakes soften the features of the person before my eyes.

As the snow gradually intensifies, pure white flakes float down from the distant sky, quietly tinting the boundless night in serenity.

Reluctant to part with such fervent snowfall, we return to the car.

Lucien casually turns on the radio, and light music immediately fills the car. Accompanied by the swirling snow outside, it feels like a scene from a crystal ball.

I rest my head on Lucien's shoulder, gently rubbing against it, unable to help but murmur with emotion.

MC: So beautiful... it's like a dream.

The sounds of the evening breeze wafting in through the window crack resembled a delicate and subtle white noise. The fatigue from staying up all night last night gradually surfaces.

The phone screen lights up for a moment, and the digital clock shows eight in the evening. I let out a gentle yawn.

MC: I can't believe I'm tired at this hour... blame it on the recent excessive overtime.

Lucien shifted, allowing me to lean more securely on him, and he spoke in a gentle tone.

Lucien: (in a very, very gentle tone) Have you been tired lately?

I nod and lazily begin counting with the fingers resting on my knee.

MC: I'm exhausted... there's a ton of tasks at work to push through, and I also need to figure out how to save the world.

MC: It either keeps me tossing and turning in insomnia or gives me a night full of nightmares.

Lucien: (gently) What kind of nightmares are you having?

I vaguely recall for a moment and make an exaggerated gesture.

MC: I've been snatched away by a dinosaur this big—

MC: And I've been flattened by this many project proposals—

MC: But you know~ After waking up, as long as I see the messages you send me, all those dinosaurs, all those project proposals, seems like nothing!

Lucien: (chuckle) Mm... I've had that kind of dream too. I wonder if the dinosaur that snatched us is the same one.

Lucien gently squeezes my hand, a hint of uncontrollable laughter in his voice.

I imagine the scene and can't help but burst into laughter as well.

Lucien: (laughs softly) Silly, next time, come knock on my door before you get snatched away by a dinosaur.

The snow outside falls gently, and Lucien speaks amidst the delicate melody.

Lucien: (murmur softly) Speaking of which, if there's a beautiful dream, would you like to stay in it with me?

MC: A beautiful dream? Is it the kind where I don't have to go to work every day?

Lucien: More beautiful than that—it's a dream where we can always be by each other's side.

MC: If there's such a thing I'm willing to dream it for eight lifetimes!

A low chuckle comes from above my head. His voice quietly melts into the night breeze, sounding like a casual sigh.

Lucien: What if I say, I hope never to wake up from this dream with you?

MC: That sounds good too. As long as I'm with you, anywhere is fine…

I blink my heavy eyelids and hear a soft laugh beside my ear. A warmth covers my eyes that I find a bit hard to open.

Lucien: (whispers gently) Get some sleep.

Lucien: I'll make sure to wake you up.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Winter seems to have truly arrived after that night's first snowfall.

With the dropping temperatures, a layer of frost forms on the branches along the river and roadsides. The news on the streets gradually shifts to reports about snow and cold prevention.

I pull my gaze away from the lengthy red light outside the car window and engage the handbrake.

The rift continues to quietly spread, casting shadows of various sizes throughout the city.

However, for some reason, the popularity of news related to the rift is steadily decreasing, and the submissions on this topic are dwindling.

Perhaps people have become completely accustomed to these rifts. Despite some lingering confusion, I do feel a sense of relief.

The green light in the middle of the road lights up, and I put away my phone. After turning a few corners, a spacious bridge suddenly appears before me.

...Strange, there were so many cars just a moment ago. How did it suddenly become so empty?

A hint of confusion creeps in as I carefully survey the surroundings, finding nothing unusual.

As I drive onto the bridge, I suddenly feel the wheels slipping. I instinctively hit the brakes, but the road in the rearview mirror shows no signs of anomalies.

Just as I fall into bewilderment, the throttle gauge on the dashboard spins violently.

The tires emit a harsh, squeaking sound as they uncontrollably move forward.

MC: What's happening...?

Before I can grasp the situation, there's a distinctly audible sound of shattering beneath the car. The next second, the car suddenly plummets.

MC: ....!

I struggle to push open the car door, but the resistance of the water turns my efforts into futility.

No matter how hard I pound and shove, the door remains steadfast. Only the icy water keeps pouring in through the window crack.

The air inside the car diminishes, and I strain to tilt my head upward, closing my eyes in a somewhat desperate attempt.

The world before me gradually fades into darkness.

Next Part-> [Here]

[posallys]

why'd you quit?

long version: i worked at a little family company, and my "manager" (self-proclaimed....literally just decided she was in charge????) aka the owner's wife has....issues. on top of just genuinely not being all there, she was drinking on the job (which...i worked on 100 ton boats on federal water...so if the coast guard stopped us for ANY reason, the captain of the vessel would lose their license for operating with incapacitated crew. which okay i don't care when it's your husband's license on the line. but you bitched and moaned because he was working 80 hours a week and so my boyfriend whose 22 got his license and took those hours so that his 78 year old boss wouldn't have to work that much. and you're drinking on HIS boats, putting his license on the line + not to mention other legal repercussions because lets say a little sail boat taps our bow. okay now the coast guard boards our vessel, dock the boat, makes all of the passengers get off, and drug/alcohol tests every single member of the crew before we're allowed to leave. especially on one of the busiest days on the harbor??? you're gonna do that over the 4th of july??? all of our new employees with no prior knowledge of her Habits have reported that they've seen her drinking on the job. meanwhile her husband is the owner and his sister is the president....so we literally cannot tell anyone because every time we try they just don't listen!!!! AND THEN this bitch has the audacity to scream at the employees like we're fucking dogs. I cannot tell you the amount of times she's made people cry at work. like MAAM you are not my mother do NOT talk to me like i'm your fucking child and even if you WERE my mother i don't even let her talk to me like that! fuck the entire way off!!!! not to mention the complete and utter lack of company loyalty....sorry girl i'm your ONLY bartender from september through april, and she's giving me the shittest shifts. and i went from 70 hour weeks last summer to getting barely 20 this summer. i do all three positions that aren't managment at this fucking company and i've been there for two years and no raise, despite me asking multiple times. AND SHE HAD ME TRAINING PEOPLE THAT ACTIVELY MADE MORE THAN I DID UPON HIRING??? and when it was brought up that i wanted more hours i'm told "you're a part-time employee, you're getting part-time hours" oh sorry, that's not what you were saying when I was working 50 hours a week DURING FINALS because you didn't have anyone else and when you call me and ask me to come in to cover for people 30 minutes before the boat is scheduled to leave and i do it, even when i haven't had a day off in weeks. ALSO not to mention the labor laws they broke??? no overtime, because they claim "jones act" which, newsflash, doesn't fucking cover what they say it covers because as someone who had 50% of their hours in the office, I most definitely am not considered a maritime worker. also no time and a half of sundays or on holidays. also state law says you get an hour of sick time for every 30 hours you work and they refuse to pay us sick time because we're "seasonal employees" (read the part-time statement a few lines up.....fucking pick one, are we seasonal or part time) BUT THE STATE SAYS YOU HAVE TO ANYWAY??????? anyway good fucking riddance. but it's a shame actually because i enjoyed bartending and i loved the people i worked with (other than, you know....) but i simply could not stay and maintain my sanity any longer.

TLDR: manager fucking insane. company probably a money laundering scheme. sick of getting talked to like a fucking 3 year old. <3

[9leaguesofmirrors]

His Soul's Best Mate (a Dave Parkes and Phil Proctor friendship fic)

I've recently become obsessed with the friendship dynamic between Phil and Dave (the other members of Legz Akimbo) and decided to write this: a fic about platonic soulmates

Two boys sat in a waiting room among several other hopefuls, waiting for a chance to audition for an up-and-coming theatre company called Legz Akimbo

One has his head buried in his audition book, murmuring his lines under his breath and making notes as he went along. If this went well, it could mean breaking through into a tough industry he'd been training for all his life

The other's scrolling through his phone. He doesn't quite know if this is what he wants, but that doesn't mean he isn't up for giving it a good go. Growing bored of Letterboxd, he puts his phone away and glances over at the man next to him. He sees the monologue

"I almost picked that one."

This caused the other man to lift his head in surprise, which quickly changed into a warm smile

"It's one of my favourite plays, you've heard of it?"

"Only thanks to a lot of researching!" Laughed the stranger "I'm not exactly an encyclopedia of theatre knowledge."

"What did you end up choosing?"

"Found a play called One Man, Two Guvnors. Figured I'd give it a shot."

"You're a fan of comedy! I had a feeling."

"Wow, it's that obvious?"

That made them both laugh. In a potentially volatile industry like the theatre, it was nice to meet someone that felt like a human being

"I'm Dave by the way." He extended his hand, a big grin on his face "Dave Parkes."

"Phil Proctor." He shook it

"No way, Proctor?" Dave chuckled in disbelief "Like in The Cruci-"

"Yes," Phil sighed with a smile "just like The Crucible. I guess my destiny was laid out in front of me since birth."

"Better hope you're good then!"

That's when Phil knew he'd found a very good friend

*********************************************

Rehearsals were interesting. And by interesting, Dave meant "his personal hell". Seriously, their new director was more unstable than a dingy boat on a stormy sea! He thought that, overtime, he'd get better. He was yet to be proven right

One evening, Dave was on a video call with Phil for their weekly line-learning session. They figured they'd start early, plus Dave appreciated being able to talk to his friend without Ollie breathing, or rather screaming, down his neck

"Have you worked with Ollie before?" He asked during their post-run through break

"Nah, first time. You?"

"Same here, was just wondering how you were finding it. I mean, Ollie seems to like you-"

"Like me?" Phil laughed a little at that "Funniest thing I've heard all week!"

"But he always brings up that audition you're going to, the one for that radio show?"

"Only because he's pissy about me missing rehearsals!" Phil muttered "Sarcastic git..."

Once Dave heard that, it all started to click. It would explain why Ollie spent so much time talking about it, yet never showed any real interest aside from that

"Right. Sorry, sarcasm gets lost on me." Dave shrugged "Joys of autism, I guess."

As soon as he saw the look of surprise on Phil's face, Dave couldn't help but laugh - he'd forgotten that was part of him he didn't know yet

"I was diagnosed pretty recently, plus I'm really good at hiding. Trying to get better at not doing that."

"Why didn't you say anything? I mean, you don't owe anyone an explanation, but surely you could get additional support-"

"From Ollie? Not a chance! We both know what he'd do:" Dave took his pink-tinted sunglasses from his desk and put them on, imitating Ollie's voice and mannerisms "My name is Ollie Plimsolls, and welcome to my new play entitled Autism Speaks. I have no idea that this is also the name of a crapsack company because I do absolutely no research. Please sit through this agonising performance while these two actors beside me slowly feel their souls decay!"

Phil could hardly breathe from laughing, and Dave was no better as he took his glasses off again. There was something about having someone that shared their irritancy with their director that felt like Spring air

"He really is something, isn't he?"

"I think the word they use is 'crackpot'." Phil said "I'd quit, but I need the experience. Plus, I like doing stuff with you."

"Boo, that's soppy!"

"Dave, don't be a dick!" Phil teased lightly "Speaking of dick, I don't think Ollie will like it if we still don't know our lines by next week, so we should probably go for another run-through."

Dave started to move his hands like Ollie again

"You don't have the whole script memorized after 2 weeks?! What kind of actor are you?!"

"Don't Dave, I'll start laughing again!"

They only made it through a page of the second run-through because Dave kept doing the "Ollie Voice" and Phil couldn't concentrate

*********************************************

4:00...

They'd been there for half an hour...

And Ollie was still ranting

Phil had stopped listening about 10 minutes in... actually, that was a bit generous. He'd probably clocked out by the 5 minute mark. It was Dave's fault, really, for improvising onstage. That was the reason he started laughing. It never happened, Phil was always great at staying in character, people saw it as a challenge, to make him corpse onstage

So far, only Dave had succeeded. And he had a consistent success streak

Of course, Phil wasn't completely innocent. After Dave started it, he had to get him back somehow - besides, they always ended up laughing when they faced each other head-on

They enjoyed it

The kids loved it

Ollie clearly didn't see the funny side

"How hard is it not to laugh onstage? Neither of you are that funny, surely it should be a simple task!"

When Ollie's back was turned, Dave looked at Phil and mouthed you hungry? That earned a silent shhhh from Phil, who was not about to enrage their director anymore - he actually wanted to go home at some point today

"You two are impossible!" Continued the angry blond man, still not looking behind him "You've ruined my production, you've ruined my reputation-"

You ruined my dream journal! Dave mouthed, laughing as Phil tried desperately to hold back his own laughter

"It's like watching a 5 year old throw a fit." Phil murmured, quiet enough that only Dave heard it

"In those silly jumpers, he looks like one too."

"How far could you push him in a pram?"

This time, it was Dave's turn to clamp his hand over his own mouth, trying to avoid any sound coming out

"Odds on 6 meters?"

"No please, I insist!" Barked an irate Ollie "Your turn! Since you're so intent on interrupting everything I do, what is it? Spit it out!"

"Just agreeing with you, Ollie." Phil said quickly, fearing that laughing in his face was a very bad idea

That seemed to set Ollie off on yet another tirade and he started to pace again. For a while, both Dave and Phil were silent. Then Dave turned to face him

"Y'know what this reminds me of?"

"..."

"My neighbour used to have this chihuahua-"

Neither of them could hold it in, and the torrent of angry yapping from Ollie afterwards was completely worth it

*********************************************

"What do you mean 'not well'? You were perfectly fine yesterday!"

"It caught up to me, Ollie, I told you there was a bug going around. Dave went off with it, you'll probably get it next."

"So help me if either of you give me your disease-"

"We should be alright by tomorrow, we can pick things up then."

It took a little (more like a lot) of convincing, but eventually Ollie caved. As soon as he'd hung up, Phil turned to Dave with a confident smile

"That's him off our case for the rest of the day!"

"He really has no idea what day it is," Dave would've been lying if he said he wasn't a little downhearted by that, but it didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things "and he says he cares."

"He's all talk, no action. Or height."

They both laughed, some jokes never got old

"So," Phil took a neatly wrapped parcel from his bag and handed it to him "the celebrating begins!"

Dave took the package and opened it, and his eyes instantly widened. Never did he thing he would be holding a vintage polaroid camera in his hands

"How did you even find this?"

"You'd be surprised what you find in Camden market."

"You actually managed to fend of Tish to get me a gift?"

"Don't even mention her name," Phil groaned "I wanted to go on my own, but you know what she's like. You mention Camden Market and she follows you like a bloodhound."

"I think it's just you." Dave adopted her voice "I just love you gay guys!"

"Right, I'm taking back the camera." Phil teased as he reached for it, only to be swatted away by a laughing Dave

"Get Tish to go with you!"

Managing to avoid Phil's grasping, he pointed the camera in front of both of them and snapped a selfie

"Dave! Fuck's sake!"

"This is going on my fridge!"

"You better not!"

"It is!"

Once the laughter subsided, Dave looked at the developing photo. It was as if, somehow, he'd managed to capture the chaos and joy and everything he liked in their friendship.

Part of him wished more people remembered his birthday, he wouldn't even have minded Ollie giving him a visit!

"Thanks for this, mate. Means a lot."

"You OK, Davey?"

"Yeah, I just..." He looked at the photo, then back at Phil with a smile "I'm fine."

Phil knew that wasn't true, he gave a firm pat on the knee. A silent assurance that, all teasing aside, he was there for him

"I just feel..." David started to alternate between clenching and unclenching his fists and pressing the pads of his fingers to his thumbs, trying to find the words "... just feel a bit invisible sometimes."

"Invisible?"

"Yeah. I mean, Ollie's the main guy: writer, director, producer... all the stuff. You're Phil Proctor, lead in every performance - which you're great at! But... then there's me. Just... Dave."

Phil hated hearing his mate talk about himself like that, especially when his skills were so obvious to him. He picked up Dave's Polaroid camera and held it up

"You," he said with a smile "are Dave Parkes. Future filmmaker and producer."

"Is this you haggling for a role?"

"Well... maybe!" Phil joked, wrapping an arm around Dave's shoulder "But I know that you're gonna make films that put these plays we're doing to shame."

"That's not hard!"

After that day, Dave started to look forward to his birthday again

*********************************************

Dave had been off all day, and he'd have been lying to himself if he said he didn't know why

It meant a lot, that he was the first person Phil told about his new job opportunity, he was filled with pride to think of his best friend finally escaping Legz Akimbo prison

Even so, there was a tiny part of him that wasn't happy about it at all. At first, he assumed it was jealousy. Phil was free to live his life, while he was trapped doing educational plays for kids that didn't care, with a director that seemed to hate his guts

As he sat in his living room, pressing the pads of his fingers against his thumbs in a self-soothing manner, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing. He heard a familiar voice at the end:

"Davy!"

"You alright, Phil? How does it feel to have nearly finished your life sentence?"

"Good. Really good, yeah."

Dave knew Phil well enough to know something wasn't right

"Thought you were meant to be a good actor!" He joked "Now tell me what's really going on."

"Alright, you got me." Phil managed a small chuckle "I'm not ungrateful or anything, trust me - I've wanted out of here since day 3!"

"So what's the problem-"

"Is this a bad idea?"

Out of all the things Phil could've said, Dave wasn't expecting that

"You what?"

"I want to get out, I have for ages, but what's gonna happen after I leave? It'll only be you and Ollie left."

"He spoke to you."

No answer. Not that there needed to be one

"Yeah. He did. Usually, I don't listen so much. But he said all this stuff about how I'm such a "bad friend" for leaving you behind. I know he's just saying it to hurt me, probably doesn't even meant it. But you know how I get."

Dave did. Phil had opening up about the pressure he felt to constantly make the right decision. Theatre was a difficult business, one wrong step and you could fall hard. There were many moments where Phil would need that extra bit of reassurance, just a push in the right direction

Not that he'd always ask for it, that was still tricky for him. But, when he did, Dave was there for him

And, even though he'd have loved to keep seeing his best mate every day at rehearsals, keep making him corpse onstage, and ranting about Ollie and all the other things that they did to keep themselves sane, he knew he had to be there for him here too

"Phil, you've earned this! Don't worry about me, I'm a grown up - especially when you see me stood next to Ollie!" He heard Phil laugh on the other end, which was a good sign in his books "This is about you, mate! You'll do great!"

"It'll be nice to work with a director that doesn't keep trying to lob chairs at me."

"Exactly!"

The conversation started to flow into a number of topics: films they watched recently, the most recent episode of their favourite show, their current (Phil's final) future disaster they were part of thanks to Ollie Plimsolls. Phil's departure almost forgotten until the end of the call

"Showtime next week," he said humourlessly "if it wasn't in front of kids, I'd do it tipsy."

"Not very professional, are you?" Dave teased

"No, but I think I deserve it."

A pause. Dave's fists clenched and unclenched and each finger pressed against his thumb again; with show week happening so close and the fact he wouldn't see his closest friend anymore was eating at him. Come the week after, things wouldn't feel the same. Well, they wouldn't be the same

He didn't realise he wasn't talking until Phil did:

"Odds on Ollie blowing a blood vessel tomorrow?"

Despite himself, Dave laughed

"Very probable, I'll send you a video."

"Davey?"

"Yeah mate?"

"I'll call you next week."

"OK."

Another pause

"Let me know when the ad comes out."

"Promise."

That's how the call ended: with Dave Parkes, alone in his living room, trying not to think about the week after next

Because he was used to the late nights, the rehearsal stresses, the tantrums and the bullying

What he wasn't used to was going about it alone

*********************************************

"Why are you doing this, Dave?"

It was the first time he'd seen any sort of genuine care towards him being shown by Ollie. As if this was the moment he realised that Dave was exhausted. As if he finally felt even the slightest bit of sympathy

Dave looked at him. He wondered if, in another life, they could've actually gotten along. Maybe, if things were different, Legz Akimbo could've really been a trio. Three friends working together, collaborating and supporting each other

But that was a universe lightyears away...

"I just can't stand you, Ollie."

... In this lifetime, they were just too far apart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Phil! Wait up!"

Upon hearing his name, he turned around, surprised to see Dave running towards him. Phil's shoulder's were grabbed as his best mate caught his breath

"Dave, what happened?"

"I quit!"

"What?" Phil's eyes widened "I mean, that's great but-"

"Remember what you said ages ago? About me being a filmmaker? Well, you were right. I wrote something months ago and I sent it off to Jed Hunter this morning!"

"What did he say?"

Dave's eyes seemed to light up even brighter, his whole face glowed like a lantern about to be launched into the air

"Phil... I'm gonna be a producer."

For a few seconds, Phil was stunned into silence. Then, his arms opened slightly

"Can I-"

His question was answered by Dave pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. That's where they stayed for what felt like a joyful eternity, a buzzing clump of laughter and freedom

"Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"... Odds on you helping me out?"

Phil pulled away, slightly confused, but wth a glimmer of excitement in his eye

"As long as I'm not playing Joseph the carpenter." He joked

"No, but I did write a role with you in mind. Jed said you'll have to audition... but I'm producing, so my say goes-"

"Why are you doing this, Dave? I mean, it's great but.." why me? Was the unspoken part What makes me worthy?

Dave wrapped an arm around Phil and beamed, as if he could see their successful futures right there and then

The struggles, the little achievements, the pushbacks and the pull forwards

He could see the films he'd create, the roles Phil would go on to play, and the awards they both would eventually win - both seperately and for their collaborations

But, right now, he answered Phil's question with the only thing he knew for sure:

"Because you're my best mate, Phil."

[sereia1313]

Sunrise

For @crescent-dreams's FCN (February 2024).

Summary: Sesshoumaru cares little for his co-worker's personal life or the woman he's pursuing. But an office outing proves there's more to the woman than meets the eyes, and Sesshoumaru discovers he wants her for himself.

Read it on Ao3 and FFnet.

Sneak Peek

Daybreak

The door of his shared room at the inn slammed open, and Sesshoumaru Taisho sighed, not looking up from his laptop. "What now?"

"I've figured out the group event!" Bankotsu Nintai boasted, crossing the room. He hadn't bothered closing the door behind him, and Sesshoumaru resigned himself to not getting any more work done. Once Bankotsu got an idea in his head, he wouldn't rest until everyone knew about it—and was on the same page.

"I thought you'd booked a hike up to the local shrine so they could buy charms for the third quarter," he said, leaning back in his chair.

"I did, and we are, but now we're going to cross Umenoki Todoro Park Bridge instead." Blue eyes gleamed, and Sesshoumaru closed his laptop, giving his colleague his full attention.

"Is that not reserved for people with a death wish?"

Bankotsu waved him off. "Nuance. The point is that it's a great trust-building exercise, especially for the new recruits."

Sesshoumaru tapped his fingers against his desk. Technically, the desk came with the room, but since everyone else was focusing on racking up the CEO's alcohol bill, he'd sequestered it for himself. "Including the woman you are pursuing," he stated knowingly.

"Listen, the innkeepers swear every company that's used the bridge comes back from their trip with a 'new respect for life and teamwork'. If Higurashi happens to fall extra hard for me after I help her get over that stupid fear of hers, that's just a perk."

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. They'd started at the company around the same time, and he still hadn't figured out what he'd done to put himself on Bankotsu's radar in the first place. The man had gotten it into his head that they were a perfect match, going as far as to request assignments where they worked together. Sesshoumaru was a wiz when it came to numbers and organization, leaving Bankotsu to deal with the face-to-face negotiations when they arose.

Sesshoumaru hadn't argued, as it gave him more time to edit and revise, but some new hires had skewed Bankotsu's vision, and his latest obsession included a pair of long legs and sapphire eyes. He was professional enough that he didn't let it interfere with his work, but a group retreat allowed the lines to blur, and Bankotsu was determined to bed the woman before they returned.

He hadn't noticed a change in her behaviour since she'd started working at the company, but Sesshoumaru never paid much attention to trivial things like that. She was nice enough to look at, he supposed. She was a diligent employee who was more than willing to work overtime when needed, but Bankotsu had been offering up his skills so she could go home on time—as another way to look good in her eyes.

Sesshoumaru hadn't figured out if his tactics were working, but considering Bankotsu was resorting to something as treacherous as walking across a rickety bridge over a steep ravine at daybreak so that he could swoop in as the hero proved they hadn't been that successful.

"As long as no one gets hurt—" he began.

"They haven't had a major injury in the last two years," Bankotsu assured him.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. "Draw up a waiver before we leave and ensure everyone signs it."

The man clapped him on the shoulder. "This is why I ran it by you first! Just because you aren't the team leader doesn't mean you don't have our best intentions at heart." He snorted. More like he was trying to avoid a lawsuit. Bankotsu's grip increased. "Come on, everyone else is finished unpacking and is headed down to the bar. Stop being your usual recluse self and join us."

Sesshoumaru pursed his lips. "Must I?"

Bankotsu shoved him out of the chair. "Yes, you must. I have decreed you to have used up all your hermit points and must now socialize before you're allowed to slink off again." He smothered a groan but allowed Bankotsu to push him out of the room, promising no more than one drink—and threatening to let him sleep on the bathroom floor at the first mention of shots.

[yuujoh]

If you'd like for the ask meme: Mokuba for 4, 5, and 28 + Pegasus, and also Honda for 5 + 24 if you'd like. Thank you!

ohhhh! all my favorites, thank you! :-)

MOKUBA

4. Favorite Line:

Ohhhhh this is a really tough one! It's more than a line, but I adore the moment in the manga when after Death T, when he and Seto's goons are trying to beat up the gang and he puts a stop to it. His bristly little "That's Enough!" is so endearing to me. He doesn't want to seem kind or weak hearted, so he couches it in this "they won so there's no point in fighting" implication, but it was really that he truly just wanted the muscle to leave them alone! Similarly, the little expression on his face before he tries to leave without commenting on the fact that he saved Honda strikes me for the same reason.

5. Best personality trait

I think Mokuba's best personality trait is his resourcefulness. He is a really quick thinker and does his best to be helpful in a situation (swallowing the fake key in Duelist Kingdom, stealing the star chips to gain access to Pegasus, hiding information with the maid for Kaiba when he woke up, the way he cheats at Capmon, headbutting Diva when he jumps on the puzzle, etc etc). He's the younger Kaiba but it doesn't mean he should be discredited in any way!

28. How Mokuba feels about Pegasus

AHHHHH! GREAT ONE GREAT ONE! I think that to Mokuba, Pegasus is the absolute scummiest that scummy can get. He threatened the two singular things that Mokuba cares about: his brother and their company. (He was working overtime to give Pegasus a run for his money which I think is so absolutely courageous... he essentially spat in Pegasus's face when he swallowed that key. I don't think I'd have the guts.) I also think that to him, Pegasus is probably extremely scary. Not only does he not have a problem taking Mokuba from his own home and locking him up, he's been told by his brother, the strongest person he knows, that Pegasus is nigh invincible. And for Kaiba at least, this is objectively true. Seeing fear for someone in his brother has got to be a really uncomfortable feeling.

HONDA

5. Best Personality Trait

I think Honda's best personality trait is his kindness. He is always looking out for people. He cheers Jounouchi on and is sometimes a little mean, but he does it with the intent of protecting him and his feelings. He will go to bat for someone with zero expectation of reciprocation. (helping the Kaibas and going on a secret hunt for Shizuka, who he didn't even know about until a couple of months prior). I love that he feels deeply, too. when he cries when Jounouchi comes back and when he realizes that Atem remembers him... so cute!

24. Most annoying habit

I would say his helicopter parenting of Jounouchi! haha. His heart is in the right place, but I think sometimes in his effort to manage Jounouchi's expectations of a situation, he ends up kind of short changing him... if I'm remembering correctly, he does call himself out on this in Duelist Kingdom, though. In the anime, I'd have to go with whatever he has going on with Shizuka and lying about being good at duel monsters or whatever that was. One of the most infuriating subplots probably in the entire series. Why would you lie about that, king.

[gecko-s-greenhouse]

a thread about my shithole job

when i asked my therapist about workplace trauma and how to move forward from it, she suggested setting some time aside to feel my feelings and journal about it. so that's what i'm going to do, because i'm determined to move on from all the ways that i was mistreated at that shithole job now that it's been 5 months (lol).

for context, my first job out of my PhD was at a tiny startup of fewer than 10 employees. i felt lucky to land the job because the biotech job market was in a bad place at the end of 2022 (it's worse now at the end of 2023), and luckier still because the company sang a (lying) tune about company culture that i bought into. the job ranged from okay to a total dumpster fire and i'll get into the details below, and then after 5 months, i was unceremoniously laid off. (alternately, my entire team of 2 was unceremoniously restructured.)

and because i signed a non-disparagement agreement to get my severance, i can't tell you the company's name. i assume not all of these issues occur at other companies,

topics that i want to cover:

my own timeline of events.

company retreat.

what i wish i had said to my shitty ex-manager when she fired me.

cult of personality.

how to create a healthy work environment. (the short version: consume any/all media that anne helen petersen puts out)

dating among the c-suite.

"i'm not here to make friends."

qualities of a good manager.

respecting time off.

i regret not taking more time off.

what does giving employees an honest chance look like?

valuing humans over success; failure is always on the table.

and others that i'm sure will spring to mind.

today's topics:

company retreat.

for context, about 2 months into my time at this company, we went for a 3 day/2 night ski retreat.

the invite went out after i had accepted the position, but before i had started, so i felt like this was "mandatory fun" and forced team bonding time that i had to attend (even though the text of the email said no pressure!), so i accepted, but made clear from the beginning that i am not a skiier and would not be joining the downhill skiing activities.

come the week of the event, work was a flaming shitshow. we were in our first sprint week at this startup, and two new hires were visiting from oot so we had to entertain them and make it seem like work was chill even though we were working overtime.

actually being on retreat was fine, i guess? we did cabin activities, they went skiing and i did other snow stuff. it was awkward but manageable. the CEO covered activity fees for only the downhill skiiers, so i, notably not in this group, had to pay my own way for tubing, skating, and snowshoeing all by my lonesome.

i now regret not asking for my activity fees to be covered also.

we get home, and the CEO sends out a group photo. that was taken at the top of the ski mountain.

let that sink in for a moment.

ask yourself, who was not included in the picture?

and to make matters worse, i was never, at any point during this retreat, invited to be in a group photo.

that was the first time i cried over this shithole job, and the first time that i told myself that i wasn't going to care anymore. (first time? because i wasn't good at holding myself to it.) startups want their employees to be part of a shitty family, and i was no longer having it.

to make matters worse, when i was being hired, the CEO had fed me a lying story about how "we're not like other startups" and want to focus on employee well-being over the other cultish aspects of stereotypical startup culture.

what i wish i had said to my shitty ex-manager when she fired me.

i don't appreciate being patronized. the first thing she said to me was, "this may come as a surprise, but..." haha no, this was not a surprise in any way, shape, or form. i've known that you wanted to fire me from that joke of a performance review* (more on this later) a month ago, right up through this meat grinder of a so-called "second chance" you've given me. i guess i am only surprised that you fired me right in the middle of a field trial where i'm a member of the team of two that handles every sample that comes through.

just because you don't like what my data says doesn't mean it's bad data. 'nuff said.

if you're restructuring, why can't i be absorbed into another function of the company? why do you have to look me in the eye, lie to me and tell me that you think i'm a great scientist, but apparently not one who can learn how to contribute to other functions that i am fully capable of doing and you know it?

what's this bullshit about "effective immediately"? (don't @me about MA at will employment, i know the law but i'm talking here about decency, which i guess is a foreign concept to you.) shouldn't i be given a couple days to tie up loose ends, tell you how to find my shit, and say a non-rushed goodbye to those of my colleagues who i did come to like? and ESPECIALLY because i had requested several days of pto THAT YOU HAD APPROVED starting literally the next day? this feels like a move for YOU, so you don't have to look at me any more than you have to after you made this decision.

also, in the state of massachusetts, it would be polite to lay people off with enough lead time that they can acquire health insurance in a timely manner. assembling the necessary documents takes time, and the last day to sign up for the next month's coverage is the 23rd day of the prior month. lesson learned: negotiate a severance package that includes health coverage. again, i understand that decency is a foreign concept to you.

what gives you the right to play games with people's lives? this thought really took shape as my nutbag ex-manager continued to arbitrarily fire people, including one on an O1 visa. consider my situation: i had been at this company for 5 months and got laid off. any decent manager looking in would see this and immediately recognize that the problem is with the company (funding?) and the management rather than with me, a young scientist who hasn't even been given the standard amount of time to fuck up learn the ropes (1 year) before being shown the door. alternately, what gives you the right to brand me as someone who behaves poorly? (because that's the only other reason a stranger would think that i was laid off so quickly?) for example, my friend and former colleague, upon finding out that i lasted only 5 months at the company, immediately asked if the company was having money problems, but he's someone who knows me and knows that i'm not a jerk, but that's not immediately obvious to a stranger. what gives you the right?

you are running your company into the ground. i don't care if your science is impeccable (it's clearly not based on my data), but it's clear to me that your company is going to fail if you keep treating your employees like this. the consensus among former employees of the company, both the ones who were laid off and the ones who left of their own volition

i hope you fail. i will gleefully eat my popcorn WHEN it happens.

also, i want my stuff back. (i wouldn't have forgotten it if you'd given me more notice!)

to be continued.

also, am i supposed to talk about my feelings too? overwhelmingly angry that at an incompetent inexperienced and scared manager treated my life/career/future as a gigantic joke to her, but also disappointed in myself that i signed on in the first place, and sad to have lost a year that i could have otherwise spent building my career to this total nonsense. bad times all around.

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT ECOMMERCE NEWS (INCLUDING ETSY), LATE MAY 2024

It's been an eventful couple of weeks since I took my brief vacation, so here's a relatively long ecommerce news update - just skip the topics you don't care about, and read the ones you do!

The SEO and Marketing update should also be out tonight, barring any emergencies.

Get these updates plus my website blog posts via email: http://bit.ly/CindyLouWho2Blog Get all of the most timely updates plus exclusive content by supporting my Patreon: patreon.com/CindyLouWho2

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Etsy’s 2023 Transparency Report was mostly more of the same: lots of takedowns of valid listings, more automation, and more promises to fix things. How do they plan on “clarifying” Etsy policies to both buyers and sellers? Stay tuned…

Etsy CEO Josh Silverman recently revealed more details [post by me on Patreon] about how the company intends Etsy search to work now. While I have been telling folks this for a while, I think it is important to reiterate: it's not all about keywords, titles and tags any more! (although they still have a small impact) Silverman wants Etsy search ranking to be about:

shipping on time

"people are always delighted with the item and give you 5-star reviews"

responding to Etsy Messages quickly

"appropriate" shipping prices*

a "good return policy" [yes, I think that means accepting most returns]

*no idea what that means; I am sure we are about to find out. Caps on shipping charges for some types of items - as they do on eBay - are possible, as are mandatory Etsy Label use for a few countries. 

He didn't mention image quality here, but does cover that elsewhere - they are correlating that with the quality of the item, to some extent. So, if you want visibility on Etsy, stop worrying so much about changing tags, and start worrying about running your business the way Etsy wants you to run it. Is this fair to long time businesses on the platform? Not really, as Etsy systems often punish sellers who live in countries without cheap tracking, who create complicated custom items that take weeks to ship, and who do not work overtime 7 days a week to jump whenever Etsy or a buyer says they must. But this is how Etsy is changing, and each shop must decide for themselves what they want to do about it. 

I am seeing some odd Etsy shop suspensions lately, some of which seem to involve not shipping within processing times - or not getting the first scan within processing times - and no other major risks or policy violations. While Etsy restored that shop less than a day after I posted everywhere, I am still receiving other complaints with similar issues, or worse: no apparent reason for the closure at all. One yesterday did win their appeal and has been reopened, but others have had no luck. 

ETSY NEWS 

If you set up an official Father’s Day sale on Etsy, check to see that the correct percentage off was used - there are reports of errors. E.g., trying to set a minimum order of $50 could lead to orders over 50 cents going through. Some sellers report they have been able to get refunds from Etsy. If you didn't set up a Father's Day sale, check to see if you are running one anyway, as Etsy seems to have opted some shops in without their permission. Both issues are covered in this forum thread, and the unauthorized sales are also discussed on Reddit. An Etsy employee says “we’re investigating the issue”, but doesn’t clarify which issue. Over on Reddit, a seller posted an Etsy Support response which denies sales were set up by Etsy without any action by the seller. This person did get reimbursed for a sale they didn’t set up, but it was also set to the wrong discount (a 30 cent minimum). 

The old Etsy listing page will disappear as of June 25; I covered the story on Patreon. Within 2 days, Etsy clarified that more changes would be coming, so I guess the complaints worked for some issues. If you are struggling with it, here are a few tips on making it work. 

There seems to be an uptick in payment reserves again; please let me know if you see anything interesting out there. 

A new Etsy tool for punishing “risky” shops: reducing the maximum daily Etsy Ads budget. There are threads here and also here, plus I have received emails. 

The latest buyer test is to allow refunds to be paid out as Etsy credits they can use immediately to make a new order. Etsy claims this will not affect how sellers issue refunds. Obviously this is great for Etsy, as the company may hold on to the money for months or years if the customer doesn't want to make an order right away, or doesn't use all of the credit, but it could also be good for buyers, as some other types of refunds can take over a week to process in some jurisdictions.

As is being discussed in the Etsy forum, Etsy is currently testing placing other shop’s listings - including paid Ads - on shop home pages. Here is one example:

[Screenshot courtesy Tracy of Pooch and Tabby.] While the listings are marked as “More from other sellers”, it’s easy to imagine some shoppers not noticing that, given that the listings appear right below the shop ones, and above feedback. Depending on how similar the photo styles are:

[Screenshot courtesy of BlackSheepDyeworks] the fact this is a different shop could be missed. Remember, it is just a test, so it may go away and never reappear. It could also be on every home page forever starting tomorrow, or it could be something that they will charge you to have removed (i.e., more “benefits” for the shop tiers they surveyed sellers on.)

Another Etsy test is changing how we can set up sales; they’ve added a separate option for discounts with order minimums, but have removed the ability to offer free shipping above order minimums. 

Sellers in India will no longer be able to make domestic sales, starting June 3. [I really do not understand this change; perhaps the payment methods are no longer possible. Remember that Etsy was making an extra cut on sales within India, as they forced sellers there to ship domestic orders using Etsy Labels, starting last April.] At the same time, Indian sellers need to sign up for Etsy Payments between June 3 and July 31, and must provide a GSTIN number to continue to sell on the site. 

Etsy apparently disabled 3 different drop shipping integrations in early May, due to non-compliance with the third-party integration policy. This should not affect shops using accepted integrations, such as the many POD sites that Etsy allows if the seller designed the product. 

Having issues with Etsy saying your items were not tracked when they really were? If you provide evidence for each order and then keep demanding Support deal with it, you might succeed, as this seller did.

Etsy has already moved ahead with changing Canadian calculated shipping to the new Canada Post Etsy Labels rates they offer, without a specific announcement on the topic. That has led to some Canadian sellers finding they have undercharged a great deal for shipping, if they use methods other than Etsy Labels. The only mention was at the bottom of the shipping label price reductions announcement, which some didn’t notice and some were confused by, and of course, people who never want to use Etsy Labels didn’t even read.  

Etsy edits its Prohibited Items Policy several times a year; the latest changes involve “Violent Items”. 

Etsy removes results for certain prohibited words - for example, try searching for “taser” - and has finally added the word “porn” to that list. Here, I searched it for you so you don’t have to:

CNBC published a short news story, and a much longer video, on current Etsy problems and what may happen in the future. Of note: “In a comment to CNBC, Etsy said that it recognizes its current definition of handmade, includes a broad spectrum of items, and will clarify its policies to be more transparent about what belongs on Etsy in the coming months”.

Etsy was called out for allowing the sale of fake seeds purporting to grow “cat-faced flowers”, but of course the images are AI-generated. 

They finally arrested one of the people running those fake Etsy Support phone number ads. 

Wells Fargo thinks Etsy will benefit from Temu giving less attention to the US market. 

ECOMMERCE NEWS (minus social media)

Amazon

Fulfilled By Amazon (FBA) items with what Amazon deems a “high return rate” will be subject to extra fees per return starting June 1, 2024. 

Some Amazon sellers need to reverify their accounts due to the Inform Act. 

eBay

eBay is apparently testing allowing buyers to make a price match request after the purchase was completed. Sellers can decline the offer and even cancel the order. 

One of eBay’s subsidiaries is facing a union-busting claim. The complaints include unfair treatment of disabled employees, and placement of surveillance cameras. 

The eBay UK user agreement now mentions “Simple Delivery”, but it is not clear what that means. 

Poshmark

“Promoted Closet” is a new ad tool from Poshmark that allows US sellers to promote their whole shop at once. “Poshmark didn’t say when the feature will roll out to Canada.”

Shopify

Alavara’s tax services are now able to be integrated with all types of Shopify subscriptions.

Shopify’s slowing growth projections led to the stock tanking May 8, even though they are still predicting “second-quarter revenue to grow at a high-teens percentage.” 

Squarespace

After 3 years of poor performance as a public company, Squarespace is once again going private; private equity firm Permira is paying $44 a share, which is 30% above the stock’s recent price. Minority investors are suing, saying they are not getting a fair price. 

Walmart

Walmart cut a partnership deal with Disney, letting Disney streaming services target ads at viewers based on their Walmart data profiles. 

Walmart Marketplace sellers have been surveyed on what they might want out of a seller forum. 

All Other Marketplaces

Mercari says its new fee structure seems to be bringing in new users and new listings, so they are considering more changes, such as surge pricing on buyer fees. They are also changing their return policy back to their old one, starting May 22. “After careful consideration and listening intently to feedback from our seller community, we have decided to reinstate our prior return policy effective May 22, 2024 at 12:00 AM PST. “Returns for any reason” will no longer apply.”

Secondhand marketplaces were called out for allowing significant fraud in a new UK study. Etsy-owned Depop fared the worst, with over half of buyers saying they had “experienced a scam on the site.” Facebook had better numbers than Amazon and eBay. 

Depop’s CEO Kruti Patel Goyal recently gave an interview to Glossy [text excerpts with podcast link] discussing how GenZ loves resale, her history at Etsy, and changes they are working on at Depop. 

All Other Website Builders

PrestaShop will be offering “Click to Pay” in several European countries - France, Spain, Italy and the United Kingdom - allowing buyers to skip entering their card info at purchase. They plan on expanding it to more countries and regions in the future. 

Shipping 

USPS wants to raise Parcel Select rates around 25% this summer. They are also delaying their reductions in processing locations until 2025. 

Canada Post claims it could run out of money in 2025, and lost $748 million in 2023. “Canada Post has been losing money since 2018. In the last six years, its losses have totalled $3 billion.”

[fizzingwizard]

life stuff

I did so many dumb things yesterday. Can't even remember them all now, but for one, I went to the wrong floor when I got home and even tried the key before I realized. I also went to a sushi place where you have color-coded plates, and I took a plate that wasn't my color. I have been going there for years and I've never not once done that before. Also at work I was just a basketcase who couldn't commit to anything.

Then today I made oatmeal, but apparently never turned the kettle on?? So I just poured ice cold water on my oats and uh yeah not appetizing. I just decided to starve until dinner 9_9

I'm a little perplexed by so many senior moments, but I think it just means I'm a lot more tired than I realized. It was a tough week. Many teachers were out sick. Including a teacher who quit for (highly legitimate) personal reasons just last week, we were missing four to five teachers nearly every day. We didn't have one day with a full staff. It's also conference season so I had a ton going on, and my kids were unusually difficult. I think it's a combo of them all being sick but not sick enough to stay home, and my challenging students just having some extra challenges, and everything happening at the same time. I've also been under the weather in a weird nebulous way: various symptoms, overall fatigue, no fever, but lasting weeks and weeks. Can't call out for it as much as I want to. Wednesday was alright but every other day was like wow, welcome to hell. Though I shouldn't say that because hell would be a kid getting hurt. No injuries, no disasters, just a very tired and frustrated teacher.

Because of all the teacher absences, those of us who were here every day got slapped with a lot more on-duty time and just stints of break here and there. We couldn't even get what's in our contracts a couple days, which always pisses me off because I'm literally not getting paid for one hour that I'm at work. And the company doesn't want us to do overtime of course bc they have to pay us for it. (They are known for "forgetting" to account for overtime hours as well so everyone double checks their paychecks). Yet we've been understaffed all year, so in order to not pay for overtime, they just send teachers from another nearby school to ours to help. One of my coworkers always insists on apologizing to them. I'm not apologizing. I didn't do it. Let the company apologize. I'll thank the other school for helping (not that they have a choice) but tbh it'd be better if they said it was impossible, then the company might actually hire a full time teacher. Oh btw last year when several of us were helping the other school when their teacher left on paternity leave for the rest of the year, no one thanked us. In face they mostly just forgot about us and looked surprised every time we turned up (biweekly! for months!) to do the job they told us they needed us to do

Anyway I told the manager that as much as I understand why break/prep time is limited when there are many teacher absences, it looked as though time had been redistributed without any thought about equality. Wed's hours were a mess, but I let it slide because I thought I could fix it to be okay for Friday. Well, someone else was out on Fri, and the time was redistributed again and I had less for the whole week than everyone else. Now there are a few factors: some teachers work longer hours than others but make "the same" pay (I put it in quotes because some of the contracts are a little different and I don't know the details, but it's roughly similar anyway). A teacher who is at the school for 7 hours has gets the same off-duty time as ones who are there for 8 or 9. But if it's okay to give more off-duty time to 9 hr teachers than 7 hr ones, that's never been expressed. And because 7 hr teachers go home before the least staffed period of the day, it's the 8 hr teacher who end up with less off-duty time because there are fewer opportunities to take it. The ones that come earlier than 4 pm have to go to the 7 hr teacher first. The ones that come after 5 pm are only available to the 9hr (which sucks for them because who wants to not have a break till after 5? they do usually get some break earlier as well but it's shorter).

Overall the distribution is unfair and dumb even when it's done according to the books. We used to have a couple leaders who would point out when things were too tight or not fair to whoever, but they both quit in the mass exodus of last year. I thought I could point it out and the manager would say "oh sorry, I'll keep an eye on that for the future." I didn't expect my schedule to be changed, just that promise. Instead the manager first said it was fine that I had less off-duty time than everyone else because I had conferences (??? our contracts don't change when there are conferences - or do they? lol well if they do it was never a problem any other year before now...). So I was like not really, and she proceeded to give me a bit of someone else's prep, the teacher who had the most for the week, only I found out later that that teacher wasn't feeling well that day. She may have been given the extra time due to her condition, and because I brought it up, she lost it. But I had no idea she wasn't feeling well. When I found out, I tried to trade with her, but she refused every time. It's just 15 min we're talking about. What does it say to you when teachers feel guilty all day long for having 15 min of prep time that could have been someone else's? fuck everything

Also only found out later that another coworker spent all of her prep time onboarding a new teacher. New teacher, hurrah, whatever, it's fucking January already but sure. Well, that coworker could have used a little extra off-duty time as well. But nobody bothers to tell Fizz. I would have happily traded off-duty time with her as well but I'm not pyschic my dude. I'm just not.

While I'm complaining let me sandwich in another annoyance. The other class decided they wanted to do a certain project. They began work on the project, but then got told by the manager that they had to include my class, because what they were doing was big enough to be unfair if only one class got to participate. Since they had already begun work, it was taken for granted that my class would just be doing the project as well now. No one asked if that was alright with me. No one asked if I wanted to edit or add anything. Actually, no one even TOLD ME WHAT WE WERE DOING. The other class teacher told my co-teacher the project was happening, but not the details. I waited two weeks, nothing, so finally I had to go ask them what the heck this was about, and they then told ME what to do. Absolutely no interest in what I might think about it at all. They decided, so I just have to do it. I could argue, of course! But like every time I have the audacity to disagree with Things That Someone Has Decided, I'd just be seen as making trouble for no reason. The project is good for the kids, so it's not easy to be against it. And I'm not against it. But I do feel disrespected. Like did it occur to no one that I, also a classroom teacher, might already have my own project in mind for my class??? If this had happened in reverse, then as soon as I knew my project was going to be expected of another class as well, I would have gone and talked to that class's teachers. I would have asked for their input and changes and I would have been fully prepared, no matter how unlikely it was, for the possibility that they just wouldn't want to do it at all. Because it's their class and i don't make decisions about their class. "But it's a cute project for little kids" blah blah everything we do is a cute project for little kids. IT'S STILL WORK FOR TEACHERS. Kill me for preferring the projects I chose and put effort into instead of projects someone else picked out without even asking my opinion. And I'm still doing it! I haven't made a scene! But was it really too much to expect at least "sorry about this" or "do you want to change anything"?? I really saw red for a while.

I'm fed up with my job in a lot of ways and I want to switch. But I don't know where to go. Finding somewhere new will mean starting over from base salary which is even lower than what I make now. The more tiring and demanding the work becomes, the less the pay makes it feel worth it. No one becomes a pre-k teacher to get rich. We like little kids. But there sure are a lot of expectations of teacher's the schools are basically throwing peanuts at. The perk, yeah, is the time off. But since it's only during cold months I never really do anything with it. It was nice to go home over the holidays, but I couldn't afford to do it every year whether I had the time off or not lol.

I honestly don't know what to do right now and it's making me extra anxious. Just hoping something will fall into my lap hahaha great strategy there. Glassdoor sends me useless spam every day :) Even got one saying I'd be a "perfect fit" to teach Christian ed to the kids of a traveling circus x'D